Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML
Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML
Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML
Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML
Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
gym membership is often expensive and you just got it for free...
BbYhRtLsS 0
kind of contradicting isn't it?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
alexandraa_fml 0
FYL for having a Grandma that cares?
Ajjas013 6
Her grandma is a troll. YDI for letting trolls get to you.
frmu8 0
work out fatty!!!
MF12 0
she might not actually have to lose weight, you know.
maskedman 9
Why did she give you cookies if she wanted you to lose weight. Were they healthy cookies? Why am I asking questions that the OP will never answer?
babybubz 0
the card had a PICTURE of cookies..
alexandraa_fml 0
Healthy.... cookies?.. I want some.
maskedman 9
ok thanks. I read the FML too fast because I was trying to get the first comment. I was way off. just playing moderators. please don't delete this.
Sirin_fml 47
Yes, you expect it, but frankly, I find it difficult to give a shit at present. Pardon me as I drown my indifferent sorrows.
Ajjas013 6
Chug! Chug! Chug!
purplemnm 9
don't drink and use your mod-hammer ;D
kirky 0
did u go over and have oral and anal sex with that gilf (grandma i'd love to f) then have a three way with your grandpa and give it to him through his ear?
ClumsyJason 3
Well, at least you got a free membership pass.
kirky 0
then ur mom walked in and u did her up the but and her orgasms made her pass out then u stick ur d through her mouth ear nose and ****** and she bled to death
damnrosi 0
That is just disgusting. Not even remotely funny. You need help.
dash8ace 0
haha, that's funny.
Goople 0
sirin made me lol
npk88 0
FYL? No...YLIA because you have the world's coolest grandma. She should have baked a fresh batch of cookies, held them in her lap while going reverse in her hoveround having you chase down the cookies!
mlsuaarez 0
lmfao you have one cruel grandma