Today, my grandma sent me a Valentine's Day card. For years she's been hinting at me to lose weight. The card: a picture of cookies on the front and a gym membership inside. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I received a box in the mail from my mom which I assumed was a care package. It was a scale to encourage me to lose weight. FML
Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML
Today, when I visited my grandmother at her nursing home, I was looking at pictures she had of all the grandkids. All were normal graduation pictures etc. but mine was a cutout where she made me skinnier. FML
Today, my mother offered to give my overweight girlfriend the workout DVDs that she no longer needs. FML
Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML
Today, for my birthday, my friend bought me a book on how to lose weight. FML
Today, after several months of eating right, exercising, and weight loss, my mother has yet again arrived at my house, unannounced and with a very sugary cake. She's been doing this most weeks since I lost 50 pounds. FML
Today, my mom signed me up for Weight Watchers as a surprise birthday present. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML
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Top comments
catatonicsleep 17
gym membership is often expensive and you just got it for free...
BbYhRtLsS 0
kind of contradicting isn't it?
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Comments (120)
Craw25 0
so are you gonna use it?
heavymetalman1 0
it's better than her getting you a shirt that says "I whipped anorexias ass"
Freeze_fml 17
That reminds me of some weight gain program I saw on TV. Some people go around helping people recover from anorexia. One lady who went around helping others had a shirt saying "This [program name] worked for me!". Then the camera zoomed out to show she was well over 200 pounds.
perdix 31
Nice try, but there's no such shirt. That slogan is only available on a muumuu, tent and piano case. I've checked ;)
Ajjas013 6
OP could always design her own shirt. And maybe write my grandma is an old bitch in small letters at the bottom. She'll never see what hit her.
d2r 0
lol happy vday
paprikacha 9
Free gym membership! :D
perdix 31
Knowing you, you'll get it backwards . . . you'll pounce on the cookies and avoid the gym! Two words: Weight Watchers.
purplemnm 9
weight watchers doesn't work xD
babybubz 0
yes it does
perdix 31
Purplemnm, I've got 29.8 lbs of fat I've gotten rid of that says it does work. I'd be happy to send you a 5 lb ziploc bagful as proof if you don't believe me.
purplemnm 9
my mom went on it and she followed they're instructions specfically and she gained weight :/ go ahead send me some I need it for my deep fryer
Ajjas013 6
Get her a shirt that says, my granddaughter got asphyxiated by the excess of her own fat. And cookies. YDI for eating too many cookies.
justanotherbird 19
If you actually need to lose weight, this isn't an FML. Your grandmother is trying to help you. Gym memberships are expensive, you should use it!
Tigg3r 3
Eat cookies or run on treadmill...Hmmm....
perdix 31
Or do both and break even.
Tigg3r 3
Nah. Just give her a cookie made out of tree bark, I heard it's nutritous. BTW, Grammar nazi, how do you spell nutritious? Is that right? Hey people! Grammar Nazi=Free Spell Check!
piinkbunnii 1
What!! A Valentine's Day card and a free membership. That's a win win situation right there. Other people got way less than you.
Bugatti_Veyron 1
ydi for failing at school, being to lazy to get a real job, and being a FAT ASS
corme_fml 0
She failed at school and doesn't have a real job? I must have missed that part....
afarr 0
yeah, buggati, like before, you're a spoiled ***** who hasnt worked a day of their life. Stop trolling and focus on growing something so you dont jerk air (troll voice) Your fake and so not real you suck