Miscellaneous: Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd...

By a - 29/03/2012 15:19 - United States

Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 740

You deserved it 2 144

Miscellaneous

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Same thing different taste

By lvegadelgado_6 - 10/08/2015 14:32 - United States - Deerfield

Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 544

You deserved it 2 127

Anaconda

By lizbeth - 23/05/2021 04:01

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 205

Nice to know

By justin bieber's nutsack - 06/06/2015 07:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce her to my parents. As we arrived, my grandpa was leaving the bathroom. He looked over at my girlfriend with a worried expression and said, "Never take a shit in this place. Feels like I wiped my arsehole with sandpaper." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 238

You deserved it 2 794

The Good Grandson

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 21:10

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 199

How? Why?

By Noname - 12/03/2009 19:56 - United States

Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 035

You deserved it 31 358

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 128

You deserved it 4 660

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 06:55 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my grandma called me spoiled, materialistic, and Americanized for reminding her that she can flush the toilet after she uses it. The family now has a "three pee, one poo" minimum before we're allowed to flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 123

You deserved it 1 601

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 760

You deserved it 5 797

Hide and seek champion

By Anonymous - 20/12/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 334

You deserved it 9 860

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 445

You deserved it 3 138

commedia 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Charlie Sheen in 20 years?

The_Creeper_fml 8

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Can I have a copy of the picture?

Comments

hippyhater3000 4

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:50

first!!!!

Sybarite_fml 5

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:51

Sounds legit

iFizzgig 11

Thursday 29 March 2012 21:04

Almost as legit as the free candy van

Clozzie 0

Friday 30 March 2012 0:46

How to finish the fml: We dont own a camera. FML

Frijolero_92 1

Friday 30 March 2012 4:15

I once took a dump that resembled the Blue Öyster Cult cross :3

commedia 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Charlie Sheen in 20 years?

iliketurdles 7

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:44

You really think he'll be alive in 20 years?

olpally 32

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:20

It sounds like he's already at the Charlie sheen part of his life right now... He's "winning" with a tiger claw dump...

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 21:50

I was wondering what would happen if you drink tigers blood...

FMLshark 12

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:43

One of the many side effects of tiger blood...

mikeofthunder 13

Thursday 29 March 2012 23:44

Charlie Sheen in twenty years? Try Charlie Sheen now

suncifir 6

Friday 30 March 2012 0:04

This reminds me of the book Running With Scissors. Dr. Finch thinking his shit was a sign from god

Maddidaddi 0

Friday 30 March 2012 2:28

Lmao. 31!

dobbyisfreeeeeee 10

Saturday 31 March 2012 8:55

Ten

xIBleedPurplex16 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Ew...

JustDerpin 11

Thursday 29 March 2012 21:36

Well if it wasnt "Ew", I doubt OP wouldve posted this.

The_Creeper_fml 8

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

Can I have a copy of the picture?

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:14

ditto ^

ladyLALAA 28

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:49

Pics or it didn't happen!

staymintyfresh 13

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:52

That's disgusting

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:15

No shit? see what I just did there

Krirn 21

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:18

I see what you attempted.

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:21

Hey Jackie Chan chill

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:25

^we get it you recently bought a dictionary

zen1979 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:50

FMLshark 12

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:45

Someone just discovered how to use a thesaurus. Congratulations.

Maddidaddi 0

Friday 30 March 2012 2:30

Not sure if I should agree with you, but I do.

FMLsAreAwesome 0

Friday 30 March 2012 3:46

6- You don't say?

KeannaLove 32

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:53

Hey, he's just finding happiness in the little things in life. Albeit gross, but still.

perdix 29

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:53

Good thing it didn't look like a bear claw. To achieve such a perfect shape, he probably scored a Flawless Victory!

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:17

hey I ate a bear claw for breakfast! thought I'd share.

danielhartlesss 13

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:54

At least he didn't made you take a picture of it.

teague95 16

Thursday 29 March 2012 19:19

I know, gramps took all the fun

Krirn 21

Thursday 29 March 2012 18:56

Imagine flipping through the photo album one day just to find that picture along with all the baby pictures.

rattusrattus 18

Thursday 29 March 2012 20:30

"This is Johnny as a baby... this is Chloe... this is La-a Layby Scrabble... his parents were always a bit odd... and this is the Tiger Shit of Destiny! Do you want to know the legend of the Tiger Shit?"