Today, my grandfather proudly informed me that the dump he'd just took looked like a tiger claw. He announced this during dinner, and told us not to flush it until he could take a picture. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML
Today, while I was doing my hair, my grandpa walked in, dropped his pants, and started taking a crap in the toilet right next to me. FML
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML
Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I was in a rush and forgot to flush the toilet after taking a huge dump. After coming home from work, I checked my Facebook to find myself tagged by my boyfriend in a photo. The photo was of the toilet, with the caption, "This is what Taco Bell does." FML
Today, I was summoned to the bathroom by my three-year-old, who still needs help cleaning up sometimes. When I walked in, he looked so happy and proud as he pointed to the trash can saying, "Look at my big poop!". Buying a new trash can tomorrow. FML
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
Today, I went over to my uncle's house for dinner and my stomach hurt really bad. I noticed there were two toilets and sat in the prettier one and took a huge dump. Turns out I'd chosen the brand new toilet that wasn't connected to anything yet. FML
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Top comments
commedia 16
Charlie Sheen in 20 years?
The_Creeper_fml 8
Can I have a copy of the picture?
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Comments (87)
bowser_rawr16 13
That will be his new Facebook profile picture
sexyb23 5
reminds me of the time my sis called me in to look at her shit that was the size and exact shap of a baseball.
MrGroovy28 7
Ouch!!! She either has a gaping sphincter or a big ass-HOLE
Black_Rose6 10
His poo must have had a hell of a time clawing it's way out
BunBunBabe 8
Just knowing the monster still existed in close premises.... Just floating, DINNER RUINED thanks gramps
iloveweed69 7
Cool grandpa
Keivono314 0
Well did it?
azpalomino 4
Hahaha!!!
misvenus000 4
As men get older they never change :)
naduskalove 3
Lmfaoo!! Man this is one of the funniest shit I read in a long time!! :D
Calyx_fml 22
Senility - its better than drugs.