Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
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Top comments
AndyBoy 0
FYL indeed sir
ellephaba101 0
I don't get it...?
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Comments (176)
ezbz11 0
i guess it is a FML if you don't remember it and it was that good, but you get woken up in the middle of the night to have sex so it's also not really a FML.
gsfgf 0
does she sleepwalk? ask your neighbors lol
ihavenofml 0
This has definetely happened to me several times before. As the girlfriend, I looked it up online and turns out it is an actual condition that occur if your stressed. Weird, I know.
Uber_G33k 0
#23, you're forgetting Chuck Norris. When you're making a list of people, you often have to include Chuck. This is one of those lists. Some exceptions: - A list of losers. Chuck is a winner, even if he loses. - A list of women. You'd have to say Micheal Jackson there. - A list of groceries. You can't afford Chuck Norris. - A list of men. Chuck Norris is more of a 'God' than a 'Man'. - A list of vegetarians. Chuck Norris eats vegetarians. - A list of who's coming to your birthday party. Chuck Norris has no friends. Only victims.
Agrajagged 3
4 WINNNNNSSS! Zing!
misssweetie 0
Well your either #4 or #23. FUnny either way
uberchicken 0
Aww, if she said that once, there may be a next time :
skippyelgato 0
Well, while it would have been nice to experience it... you did come out of it with your girlfriend having a positive attitude toward you, so it's hardly an FML.
nilofc 0
Sex outside marriage. how cheap an sinful is that.
Amorbis 0
FYL good sir