Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my...

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 267

You deserved it 29 218

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 826

You deserved it 6 331

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 113

You deserved it 23 450

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 3 160

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 6 207

Heated gamer moment

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 00:00

Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 509

You deserved it 713

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 134

You deserved it 10 844

Milking it

By mperrotta913 - 21/05/2010 15:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 135

You deserved it 14 881

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 091

You deserved it 13 413

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 127

carlycrf 8

Monday 17 January 2011 16:05

did you swallow?

iHaveADream_ 0

Monday 17 January 2011 16:03

hahaha . don't lie , you liked it (;

Comments

symphonicx 2

Monday 17 January 2011 20:05

i hate it when people post funny shit that their partner does as FMLs when it was clearly a fun and jokey situation.

deven329 1

Monday 17 January 2011 20:19

at least ur mouth wasnt open :P

Humanspider 18

Saturday 10 December 2011 12:46

That would have sucked. Oh my god, I just made a pun. Help me.

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 17 January 2011 20:21

Medic!!

vballchik3575 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:24

Buzz Kill hahaha

loleepops 10

Monday 17 January 2011 21:33

That is an epic win. Props to your girlfriend :)

notsoluckypup 12

Monday 17 January 2011 21:43

Ya shoulda opened your mouth so you know how a woman feels when she gives you a *******...

unknwnhooligan 0

Monday 17 January 2011 21:44

probably the funniest FML I have seen on here:)

IneffableLullaby 13

Monday 17 January 2011 22:24

I think your girlfriend plays too much Call of Duty. :p

xf06 1

Tuesday 18 January 2011 0:25

damn. usually the ppl that post shit on FML arnt this hot!

kayjay10 0

Monday 17 January 2011 22:27

hahahahhaahhaa

xcrystal011 2

Monday 17 January 2011 22:51

hahahahahaha xD

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Social Media Money Scams Parents School Kids Education Health Public freakouts Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Cops Transportation Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 763

You deserved it 10 103

Today, I got called in for a second job interview for a position I'd applied for. When I met the interviewer, she smiled and told me to have a seat. She pulls out her phone and says, “So, care to explain this?” It was one of my TikToks from ages ago of me singing the "N-word" over and over again. I forgot I had that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 950

The Top

Today, a couple of mates and me have a reservation on this fancy restaurant to celebrate Chinese New Year. I found out that 80% of our money goes to the wine tasting event that they have, a free flow of gorgeous, decent wine all around. I'm allergic to fruit. I'll stick to my 20RMB water bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 296

You deserved it 3 312

Today, I noticed a thick layer of mold growing inside the straw of my water bottle. I use that bottle every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 731

You deserved it 4 735

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 540

You deserved it 7 267

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 482

You deserved it 1 978

Today, my ballet teacher decided to tell us, in detail, about the nasty staph infection she has on her boob. The whole time, she was scratching it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 414

You deserved it 2 815

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 137

You deserved it 7 374