Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the...

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 16:21 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 034

You deserved it 45 822

Quick, hide!

By Mattyboy - 24/08/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 925

You deserved it 18 636

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 831

You deserved it 37 131

By mal - 08/05/2012 20:46 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 155

You deserved it 6 257

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 969

You deserved it 14 918

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 05/06/2021 08:00

Today, my mom walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. Later, police turned up because mom thought she was underage. I had to desperately prove to some very angry officers that I met my girlfriend at university, and she’s almost a year older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 344

You deserved it 176

By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 641

You deserved it 86 671

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 979

You deserved it 7 499

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 129

You deserved it 29 739

In the mood

By Steve - 16/12/2012 06:25 - United States - Oshkosh

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 782

You deserved it 18 359

lexiBRo 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:04

hehehe.... hope it was good.. what did you tell your mom the next time you two spoke and she asked what happened that day??

UFCFIGHTER 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 23:32

**** blocked by your mom lol

Comments

genki008 0

Tuesday 14 July 2009 1:26

that is the first time i've heard the expression "butt dialed"

HiddenAce91 6

Thursday 16 July 2009 14:17

That's why I keep mine either in my front pocket or in my hand.

Brettersson 0

Thursday 16 July 2009 21:08

YDI, don't complain about butt dialing and get your phone out of your back pocket

rubenrox 1

Friday 17 July 2009 4:41

moms suck!!!!!

MissKayla 2

Saturday 18 July 2009 21:16

Ahahahahaha YDI for sitting on your cheap phone that probably isn't a flip and butt-dialing your mom..

coolios_fml 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 22:59

wow, what did the police do? was it good sex?

sokayo 0

Wednesday 22 July 2009 19:03

Rofl, that really sucks. Try taking your phone out of your pocket next time. ;D

jessikatattoo 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 5:39

haha that freakin sucks man.. bad luck :P

dvs01 0

Saturday 29 August 2009 3:35

How exactly does that make your life suck? Sure, you had to deal with cops, who are some of the most dangerous people in the world. I doubt you got arrested. If you think that this ruined your life, then your mom and the cop's aren't the problem. It's you.

koda446 4

Thursday 18 March 2010 6:29

my cousin called me like that I reconized the # and heard it as I was trying to get her attention thr next day I called and asked if she had fun I had to explain what I heard it was ackward