Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML
Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML
Today, I threw a party at my girlfriend's house before her parents came home from vacation. After the party, I found all of her mom's favorite wine glasses broken. I spent $500 on new glasses, and wrote a huge apology for the party and the damage. She got home and told me that they were already broken. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I found out that just because my roommate doesn't buy alcohol, it doesn't mean she isn't stealing mine and slowly replacing it with water. That bottle cost me $150 and was destined to be a present for my best friend, whom I haven't seen in years. FML
Today, I found out my credit card was maxed out to the penny, all thanks to purchases made on an online wine store. Apparently my mother was thirsty enough to steal from her own son. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I came home from a nine-hour shift and all I want is to sit down with a glass of Baileys. I can't find the key to the liquor cabinet. FML
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Top comments
superswagbro 7
What a bitch.
Futacy 30
"Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! EVERYBODY!!!"
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Comments (84)
pradip 26
I think she emptied it down the sink. Learn to be sober with your gf. Or u will be punished by her mom
raraisbang 12
14, I've noticed the majority of your comments are horrible and filled with negative assumptions.
hama806 19
43-just wondering if you remember his comments or can you actually see what comments he's made? As for the FML, how did she smuggle 3 bottles of liquor without him noticing? No bulge in her handbag or clanging liquor bottles?
raraisbang 12
He's posted on the last few FMLs I've read, and most of his comments come across as being negative toward OP or just plain rude/idiotic. I generally don't point things out, but after seeing so many of his comments with the same tone, I couldn't help myself. D:
Spongii101 12
I love how after only a few hours with your mother-in-law you needed an alcoholic drink.
deegeebee 10
Yes! That's exactly what I thought too XD
perdix 31
Three bottles of liquor is a small price to pay for the right to **** her little girl's brains out.
loserman67 36
Look at it this way, you're banging her daughter seven ways to Sunday, so she evened things up by grabbing some booze from you. If you're concerned she might do it again, buy good booze, refill the bottles with cheap booze, put them in the cabinet and hide the good stuff for you and your girlfriend. Problem solved...
patrickalamo 48
Or put a lock on the liqueur cabinet.
manicethemage 9
The phrase "seven ways to Sunday" made my day.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Invite her over again, but fill up some empty bottles with various juices. Let's see her try to get drunk off of fruit juice!
Myo_fml 20
It kind of makes me sorry for her. She could be an alcoholic and really need help.
B5B0N35 18
She sure love her liquor
B5B0N35 18
She sure loves her liquor exoensive
smurfsarwales 9
Best. Comment. Ever. Just wish I could understand what you were trying to say.
KiddNYC1O 22
You know you're a noob when...
olpally 33
I think her mother might be an alcoholic... Lol. Troll mother.
Enslaved 38
Gimme that Mo-Moet Gimme that Cry-Crystal Ladies love my style, at my table gettin wild. --I bet she's feelin' so fly like a G6