Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a...

By badluckdrew - 01/05/2009 14:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 556

You deserved it 20 634

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Same thing different taste

By Tucker - 18/11/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 451

You deserved it 8 785

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 202

You deserved it 26 142

Get back here!

By frenchie12 - 24/03/2019 02:00

Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 574

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 20:00

Today, I went into my parents' room after spending pretty much all weekend in my their bed while they were out of town. I happened to look out the window, and on the windowsill was a puddle of cat vomit with a condom in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 754

Rushed

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 20:53 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 660

You deserved it 44 685

By ash - 04/01/2011 21:09 - United States

Today, was my boyfriends last night visiting my family. My dog decided to go through the trash, then ran up to my dad with one of our used condoms caught on her teeth. My parents didn't even know we were sleeping in the same room. They know a lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 896

You deserved it 14 831

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 872

You deserved it 61 034

Keep the peace

By Anonymous - 02/10/2020 18:02 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend accidentally put rubbish in the neighbour's bin. Then the old lady took all the rubbish out and threw it on the floor. I came out and tried to calm the situation, but then my girlfriend ran downstairs and tipped her cat food and cat milk bowls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 120

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 644

You deserved it 20 278

By SimpleSimon - 01/07/2009 00:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 289

You deserved it 19 712

ProfoundNonsense 0

Friday 1 May 2009 20:03

How did your cat get a hold of it? I guess stop leaving them around like that. *shrugs*

poison29 0

Friday 1 May 2009 20:05

ew, poor cat

Comments

pinkpikachu 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 0:38

I'm more worried about the cat! FTCL!

Maddisonboii 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 0:45

HAHAHA, You should have sawllowed it your self!

CaptainJellyBean 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 1:29

#59, I'd say so. My cat refuses to eat fish.

missus_butter 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 2:04

Well, now you know that some cats will feel compelled to eat rubbery things to satisfy an imbalance in their diet. I've heard of this with rubber bands, which can hurt the cat... luckily when my cat did this, she just ate the arms off of my rubber finger puppets that I had as a kid. Definitely throw the condoms away where the cat can't get at them (wad them up in toilet paper and take them home with you if you must) because kitty will probably continue trying to fish them out of the trash.

BaldOuting 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 3:14

haha that is sooo hilarious. but don't let that cat touch you.

dwills36 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 3:52

This is why cats are evil.

id0nTgiv3af___ 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 4:04

POOR CAT!!

ariana91 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 4:09

same thing happened with me. except it was my sister's puppy.

hannnnah07 0

Saturday 2 May 2009 4:49

Yesterday, My mom found a condom wrapper in my room. She said I "betrayed her, and that if I really loved her I wouldn't have sex anymore." I have been dating the same guy for over a year. She then told my dad, who now won't talk, or look at me.

justanotherhuman 21

Tuesday 21 July 2009 6:37

Now, normally I don't judge, and the Prime Directive is rule number one. But your parents are freaks, and I'm sorry they measure their love/trust in you via proportion to your libido. Welcome to the wonderful world of Daddy issues. :-/