Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job, which was great, until she started saying, "Milk the penis… Miiiiilk the penis…" FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML
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Top comments
jamalamadingdong 18
Maybe the nutcracker suite would have been more appropriate?
moonboobs 4
Jingle balls?
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Comments (121)
Wiringify 22
At least you are getting handjobs.
KhaozD 3
lmao funny as ****. deck your balls with palms of jolly, la la la la laa, lah la la laaa!
TheyCallMeDamien 18
She's willing so just show her how to do it right unless you like having a bruised beanbag.
KiddNYC1O 22
Hey your name is awesome. Balls the season! I mean ****! I mean tis!
kitsune3 20
Oh dear god...Sometimes it's the comments rather than the fml that make these fmls so funny. I can't stop laughing.
rodgerishere 4
ouch my balls hurt after reading that
XxQuartersxX 14
Kick her right in the clit. Best possible revenge. Hurts like a ************.
YaoiTitan 10
This is why being gay is amazing. My guy have yet to try and make me sterile.
bitchballs01 6
This post just screams Australian to me mate