Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for the night so she could calm down. All I did was suggest her headache might improve with paracetamol and a nap, as opposed to the burning sage stinking up our bedroom and the crystal wand she had pressed against her eyes. FML
Today, my boyfriend woke up to me crying. He asked what was wrong, but before I could answer, he'd already rolled over and started snoring louder than ever, making the migraine I was crying about even worse. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped me and dumped me because she thought I was gay, simply because I had to miss a date because one of my guy friends was in a car accident, and I went to see him at the hospital. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
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Top comments
chanellgymnast 17
Just because you had a migraine she accused you of all of those terms? Good gravy.
GemmaStyles 14
If anything, she's the selfish one.
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Comments (73)
UberNova 18
D-D-D-D-Double standard!
jramirez16 9
Did someone have to hit you on the back to finally let that out? Lol
amandathecreator 22
She's the ****** selfish one.. tell her to get the hell out and go tru to find a better boyfriend , you sound so sweet politely declining she doesn't deserve you. You could have pushed her off the bed and been rude but you didn't .. she was rude and insensitive , don't stand for it darling !!
amandathecreator 22
Try* not tru , to anyone who reads this sorry ! :(
LookAttMyyLifee 12
Someones horny...
Joe9024 20
Actually I believe it's called "thirsty" now... Another worthless rap term, right up there with YOLO and ratchet. But don't worry, I thumbed you up anyway for your normalcy.
dantee2005 33
I thumbed u down. Just for trying to be a teacher here
KINGVELEZ77 4
I agree
sirjuice35 11
double standard much? just ask her for a ******* next time she's feeling down and wait for her response.
ahamme06 12
That's a little psychotic but I guess a girls got needs!
nosybear13 7
That happened to me too except it was my bf who didn't get it. He didn't stop and he ended up moving me too much to the point I puked...I feel your pain OP hope you feel better FYL
jon_watson 12
Punch her in the head, and then ask for sex. Maybe she will understand then.
csi_fml 19
I like biscuits and gravy!
mnwlf13 3
I guess only women can use that excuse.
AngrySailor 17
Migraine? Or hangover from that underage Aussie birthday party you were at?