It's not for everyone

By lucy ann - 30/09/2023 10:30

Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks 216
You deserved it 918

Same thing different taste

Top comments

failing to see how this has any negative effect on you 🤷‍♀️

So? It's her life, and being asexual and/or aromantic is valid. If she's happier not dating anyone, that's her business.

Comments

failing to see how this has any negative effect on you 🤷‍♀️

Failing to see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Are actions have huge impacts on others. I think even you can imagine the massive impact this would have on the lives of the parents.

Forgive any grammatical issues. I use voice to text and a lot of times it makes simple mistakes.

Please ignore the thumbs up I gave you, because as a parent, the idea that your kid being queer (aro and\or ace) is hurting you is one of the most selfish contributions to child abuse I've ever heard, and you could not be more disgusting.

Ah, yes. How dare she make a decision about her own life that makes her happy and not follow the societally-mandated path of getting hitched and popping out some kids so you can be a grandparent. The horror.

Being a grandparents is a really big deal. You're right, it is still hurt decision. Her actions still affect others to some degree. Depending on what she does it has a huge impact on others. It makes total sense to be disappointed by the choices that other people make. It doesn't mean we don't like those people or that we hate those people but to deny that it has any impact or to mock someone for being sad about someone else's decision is choosing to not see what's obviously there.

Dude (or dudette) - back off. No one has the right to be a grandparent. Pressuring children into having grandchildren is just being a scum bag. Your children have a right to make life altering decisions themselves, without worrying about what their parents might think for a week or two a year they come visit rather than the other 50+ a year where they are on full-bore parenting duty the whole time.

So? It's her life, and being asexual and/or aromantic is valid. If she's happier not dating anyone, that's her business.

None of us own our lives completely as our lives have huge impacts on other people. We owe tons to people around us. I think you would agree if we had a conversation about this even if we disagree on exactly what we owed to the people around us. Owing nothing to the people around us would mean that we can do anything we want anytime we want. It's too late for you to use the argument that as long as you're not hurting anyone you can do anything you want. I'm sure you probably can't see how that's the case cuz you can't see very much based on your comment. Several ways how that argument would be invalid including the fact that whether or not someone is being injured or damaged is extremely subjective and there are many ways that someone can influenced by our actions.

That's your problem. She doesn't owe you anything. She's finding her own happiness in a world she never consented to be a part of.

Wow I think I might be a psychic. Hmm, Yes I can see it now. I can see in your past when you found someone guilty of something unsavory because they didn't fight hard enough to stop it and we're implicitly consenting to it.

Don't worry too much though, I don't believe in psychics.

@Billsonhamsen - What are you talking about? Seriously, shut up. Nobody cares what you think, you entitled bigot.

Yeah. It's not crazy to think that somebody wants something out of life. It's also not crazy to think that you want your kids to be happy doing something that has made you happy. Young people in every generation seem to imagine their life will be happiest if they indulge in every whim and pleasure that they desire. Not everyone grows out of that phase but almost everyone grows out of that phase. Eventually most people see that relationships bring us the happiest times of our lives. Some people say garbage like whatever makes you happy but in reality no cultures are that dramatically different from each other. It might feel that way sometimes but if you stand back just a little practically all cultures across practically all times have looked very very similar.

I’m a mom of 3 daughters in their 20’s, and I get it. I’m a widow, and I think that gives me an extra sense of wanting to see my kids “settled.” And I get wanting grandkids, which I would guess is part of this for you, too. BUT it’s her life and she has to do what’s right for her. You wouldn’t want her in a bad relationship just for the sake of being in one. Would you want her in a relationship just to make YOU feel better, even if it was making her unhappy? It’s OK if she never is. As parents, we can’t expect our kids to be us - we can’t expect them to have the same dreams and goals. Don’t damage your relationship with her by trying to push her.

OP clearly stated that she wanted to cause damage to her relationship. It's right there in the first line.

how in the actual **** does "not seeing herself in a relationship" and "dating not being for her" translate into "I want to cause you emotional harm?" I think that just might be the dumbest statement I've ever heard in my life and I've heard some doozies 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

@Billsonhamsen - No, it doesn't. Work on your reading comprehension.

she may be asexual and/or aromantic. and that's perfectly valid and perfectly fine. what you want for her isn't necessarily what's best for her. and if it's an issues of grandkids, she doesn't owe you any. I want grandkids too but they're not coming anytime soon for multiple and valid reasons and those are my children's choices.

Relationships? In this economy? All jokes aside though, if she has a happy and fulfilled life then you've done your job as a parent, and her not wanting a relationship has no affect on you. You're not entitled to grandkids if this what this is about. As a parent your whole goal should be that your child is loved and happy. End of story.

With mine and my sisters life styles, our parents have come to terms with us not having kids. They are content with having grandfurkids. Along with many health problems, it's not necessarily something I nor my sister wants to pass on. Just look at it as population control in its best form. We as a world are already over populated and the US likes to feed other countries before their own.