Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML
Today, I invited my girlfriend to go eat out, hoping to put her in a really romantic mood. She decided to tell her friend, who then invited herself and another couple along. I ended up being made fifth wheel, and had to sit alone at an adjacent table. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
Today, my date unexpectedly brought her friend to dinner with us. They seemed bored of me after ten minutes and left me out of their conversation for the rest of the night. Oh, and they made me pay for both of them. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a date with this girl who turned up with bags of Instagram camera equipment. She photographed everything, the drinks, food, and yet we barely said a word to each other. In the end, I paid my half and left. She didn’t notice I’d gone for at least 15 minutes before texting me. FML
Today, I went on a date that went well, until the bill came and she quickly shoved it in my direction, then went to the loo. Rude, but I thought nothing of it… until our waiter took pity and told me I’m the fourth guy she’s had this week who'd been made to pay for her. I paid half, then went home. FML
Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her Twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML
Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML
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Top comments
dee3108 0
straight out dude... you seem like a very nice guy.. who just so happened to be stuck with a hardcore bitch.. dump her and find one that appreciates!
Learning2livelyf 4
Sounds like she's not interested in you. Time to move on.
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Comments (466)
BIGTON_fml 0
Dump the bitch, sounds like shes playing you seeing if you'll dump her.Shes probably cheating
lukethe 0
Dumppppp!
Livinia 11
I think it's time to move on, OP. Hopefully you can find someone better (:
Jasonf6 0
Dump the bitch.
briidontgive_ 0
You mean your ex gf now right OP ? Because it sounds like she's doing it on purpose so you can break up with her anyways.
slickrasta 1
Dump her like a bag of rocks!
diabian 9
leave her.. u already sound like one of those married couples!!
sgtrobswifey 0
I'm hoping you're just being funny.
diabian 9
nop... am damn serious! i mean whats next? no sex, just like those married couples!
yuggi1 11
Throw her phone away. Don't let it be known it was you.
sarahXskitzo 0
Dump the bitch.
Mirorbo 27
Makes me wonder how she became your girlfriend in the first place. People stuck in an infinite loop of technology generally show patterns and warning signs ahead of time.