Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was running late for work. To save time, I grabbed my belt on my way out the door and was putting it on in the elevator, which stopped at the next floor before I had put my belt all the way on. A hot girl stepped into the elevator, looked at my undone belt, screamed "Ew" and got off. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to get your nut-sack caught in a belt buckle. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
Today, I accidentally slapped myself in the face with my belt when I pulled it from my belt loops too quickly. FML
Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML
Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend when I felt her slip her hand into my pants. She then gave me a wedgie. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Today, I took a train for 5 hours to a remote northern community. My belt broke as I was getting off the train. I went to the only store and bought a new belt. Taking it off to go to bed, the new belt broke. I have to go visit clients today with a shoestring holding up my pants. FML
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Top comments
Peter_Ohnigian 14
Could someone explain to me what happened in fluent English?
venomousflower 24
I'm confused
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Comments (116)
Ramos808 29
I don't understand this at all
Bookworm257 13
What is will all the exclamation points!!!???!!!
unicornruler 16
What is going on with fml moderation??
JessieDarling72 11
yeah.... I don't get this at all...
SKITTLZ2000 16
April fools joke. All of today's FMLs are incorrect tin some way
narla_hotep 9
Because it's April fools day!
SydLovesLacey 18
Oh my god are all the moderators 8?
sunnyskys 25
is that your keys...I hope so lol sorry bro
TylerHarkins 14
Everyone that cannot spell should immediately leave. Anyone that does not have a plausible reason to post on here should not even attempt to do so.
BI4ze 17
For people who don't understand, look at all the recent FML's. Even the ones from a day or two ago. They changed them all to look stupid. So no, these didn't make it through moderation, the FML team just changed them.