By curseyousuperman - United States - Conway Today, my self-esteem issues got me jealous of Superman's hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 23763 You deserved it 6641 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By potatoes - United States Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML I agree, your life sucks 11250 You deserved it 30846 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lizann - United States - Scottsdale Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML I agree, your life sucks 23397 You deserved it 4646 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alone - United States - Washington Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML I agree, your life sucks 52258 You deserved it 12853 185 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mikki bee - United States - Reno Today, I decided to start jogging and exercising, so I had a wonderful workout before work. Then I broke my foot at work. Goodbye exercising. FML I agree, your life sucks 29076 You deserved it 2506 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Embarrassed - United States Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML I agree, your life sucks 15174 You deserved it 46874 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Brandee - Canada Today, a guy commented on a picture of my boyfriend and I kissing on facebook, and said to please stop 'testing' him. He also messaged me saying how he wishes he could get a girlfriend like me, that I'm gorgeous, and that he wants to go out with me. I'm his cousin. FML I agree, your life sucks 38298 You deserved it 3191 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ugh - United States Today, my boyfriend told me that I moan too much when we have sex. I actually just fake my moans in an effort to cover the sound of my cracking hips. FML I agree, your life sucks 28231 You deserved it 5831 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By biomajor99 - United States - Middletown Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML I agree, your life sucks 26674 You deserved it 2146 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fufu_mutt - United States Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML I agree, your life sucks 30681 You deserved it 10122 157 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CaddyWhack Today, after a couple of months of enjoying an informal parking arrangement with a local bank, I found out they sold their extra lot without telling me. The new owner's towing company heard about the deal, though. FML I agree, your life sucks 8410 You deserved it 765 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ItsFunnyNow - United States Today, I took my first Viagra. It worked great, but "Wally, the one-eyed wonder-weasel" would not return to "hiding". After 4 hours, I was in mortal aching pain, and went to my doctor for a shot and sedative. My wife, the doctor, and the nurse could not stifle their laughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 22519 You deserved it 6718 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By period pains - United Kingdom - Nottingham Today, my period started again. I just finished a 17-day period 3 days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 32726 You deserved it 2114 257 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poked - United States Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML I agree, your life sucks 63796 You deserved it 4122 211 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cmondude Today, I was finally cast in my high school play. As Violet. The gum chewer who turns into a blueberry. Does my instructor not know I'm a guy? FML I agree, your life sucks 2473 You deserved it 316 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Winchester Today, I found out that of the three medications I am taking for depression, one causes weight gain, one causes severe weight gain, and one "might cause weight gain." FML I agree, your life sucks 32194 You deserved it 3391 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MirandaJones - United Kingdom - London Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML I agree, your life sucks 28426 You deserved it 8841 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Germany - Berlin Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML I agree, your life sucks 39526 You deserved it 5774 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I spent a hundred dollars on new "business casual" clothes and took two hours to get ready for my interview with a government agency. My interviewer was blind. FML I agree, your life sucks 30821 You deserved it 7356 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grossed out mom - Canada - Scarborough Today, when I visited my daughter's apartment that she moved into about 3 months ago, I found out that she buys new underwear every time she runs out instead of washing her dirty ones. Her dirty ones have their own special hamper. FML I agree, your life sucks 26036 You deserved it 2898 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Swabidizop - United States - Greeley Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML I agree, your life sucks 27967 You deserved it 8016 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Cape Coral Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML I agree, your life sucks 33505 You deserved it 41726 175 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By leftbehind - Colombia Today, I was the only passenger on a completely booked flight to have all their luggage left behind in another country. FML I agree, your life sucks 38778 You deserved it 3247 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eric - United States Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML I agree, your life sucks 22191 You deserved it 96200 415 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FullOfNick - United States Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML I agree, your life sucks 17616 You deserved it 35745 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hatethatiloveyou - United States Today, my crush talked to me for the first time. He told me to stop staring. FML I agree, your life sucks 37864 You deserved it 14714 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my cat got his head stuck in the handle of a plastic bag while snooping. Unfortunately, it was the bag I use to put his turds in after scooping them from the litter tray. With the bag trapped around his neck, he got spooked, then ran around the house, spreading turds from the bag as he fled. FML I agree, your life sucks 1703 You deserved it 373 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Afghanistan - Kabul Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 23707 You deserved it 48371 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MexicanMe - United States Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML I agree, your life sucks 31500 You deserved it 3105 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML I agree, your life sucks 26653 You deserved it 3695 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41629 You deserved it 3148 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Thatslife - Netherlands Today, I asked my friend what form of birth control she used the first time she had sex. She stared at me like I was from another planet and said, "You can't get pregnant the first time..." This moron is my best friend. FML I agree, your life sucks 51111 You deserved it 7784 298 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mini-wanker - United States Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML I agree, your life sucks 57362 You deserved it 8815 423 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unluckiestperson - United Kingdom Today, I found out that my very expensive and beautiful smelling perfume attracts wasps. Whenever I go out, wherever I am, I am followed by multiple wasps. FML I agree, your life sucks 25663 You deserved it 6239 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pooperscooper - Australia - Hunters Hill Today, I had to wipe someone else's shit off the toilet seat for the third day in a row. We had a new staff member join our team three days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 7148 You deserved it 445 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thankful Today, I was tripped downstairs as a "joke" by my little brother. When I was yelling in pain from my broken arm, my mom was lecturing me to be thankful "one goddamn day a year". She also thinks I'm lying just to hide that I'm clumsy and my brother is innocent. He won't admit it. Happy Thanksgiving. FML I agree, your life sucks 3139 You deserved it 173 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By LameChef - Poland Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML I agree, your life sucks 30033 You deserved it 4987 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By not a jesse pinkman joke - United States - Princeton Today, my dad turned up drunk to an intervention for my brother's drug addiction. FML I agree, your life sucks 34886 You deserved it 2535 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BadIdea - France Sucker Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML I agree, your life sucks 10245 You deserved it 59416 252 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 20:01 - United States - San Mateo Compassionate dad, huh? Today, I was having an emotional breakdown. I'm unhappy a lot and don't know why. It's very confusing. My dad yelled at me, telling me, "You have no right to be sad!" I'm even more confused now. Help. FML I agree, your life sucks 1104 You deserved it 148 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By strayy - New Zealand - Auckland Today, my mother told me I should volunteer in Africa, because I might "get lucky, catch malaria and come back skinny". FML I agree, your life sucks 27514 You deserved it 2320 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SteamyPenguin | 46 #6250046 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:55 Just his hair? Of all his abilities, it's his hair you want? Send a private message 187 1 Reply
By Gesula | 24 #6250045 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:54 If that is so, then definitely don't compare yourself to David Tennant Send a private message 33 3 Reply
By Gesula | 24 #6250045 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:54 If that is so, then definitely don't compare yourself to David Tennant Send a private message 33 3 Reply
Reply rebelbelle | 17 #6250299 - Thursday 2 April 2015 4:21 that man has sideburns and hair a man would kill over Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By SteamyPenguin | 46 #6250046 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:55 Just his hair? Of all his abilities, it's his hair you want? Send a private message 187 1 Reply
Reply Welshite | 39 #6250052 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:59 Hey Superman's hair can hold a thousand pounds. Send a private message 20 2 Reply
Reply SteamyPenguin | 46 #6250058 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:03 I know it's pretty amazing! But, X-ray vision, the ability to fly, to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and one of the best, to be able to bring in all the shopping in a single trip! Send a private message 18 1 Reply
Reply gracehi | 31 #6250111 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:43 Of all of Superman's assets, his hair is the only one that stays amazing under the red sun and in the presence of kryptonite. Send a private message 20 1 Reply
Reply SteamyPenguin | 46 #6250137 - Thursday 2 April 2015 0:01 That is very true. Send a private message 4 1 Reply
Reply drayloon | 50 #6250167 - Thursday 2 April 2015 0:37 I don't know if I want his super ventriloquism tho Send a private message 0 3 Reply
Reply DoomSkuller | 28 #6250391 - Thursday 2 April 2015 6:57 Don't forget laser vision, super strength, super speed, super endowment... Send a private message 3 1 Reply
By NormaBates | 10 #6250047 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:55 It could be worst, you could be wearing tights. Send a private message 3 5 Reply
Reply funsizedliz | 15 #6250161 - Thursday 2 April 2015 0:29 F ifunny Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By Garagedwella | 26 #6250048 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:55 Of all the attributes. You went with hair?!? Send a private message 6 10 Reply
By Welshite | 39 #6250049 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:56 Go into a phone booth and put on a pair of glasses. You'll come out supernatural. Send a private message 8 7 Reply
By WCARlover | 34 #6250050 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 22:58 Well if you could draw your hair on I'm sure it would be perfect, too Send a private message 29 0 Reply
By flufee2 | 27 #6250053 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:00 you gotta visit a therapist to tie up those loose ends..... lol Send a private message 1 6 Reply
By patrickalamo | 47 #6250055 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:01 Enough is enough... No more BS postings... Everyone gets it is April fools day Send a private message 1 19 Reply
Reply AikoRose | 15 #6250057 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:03 They already fixed them... Before you even commented... Send a private message 15 2 Reply
Reply Mynamewontfi | 40 #6250205 - Thursday 2 April 2015 1:09 Someone's had a terrible april fools today, I see. Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By Emzinatorbot | 26 #6250056 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:02 short and sweet fml. I like you Send a private message 6 2 Reply
By jkp1291 | 25 #6250063 - Wednesday 1 April 2015 23:08 Well to be fair, it is pretty fantastic looking. Send a private message 4 1 Reply
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 480 You deserved it 32 3 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 846 You deserved it 294 5 Comments