Today, my girlfriend and I were outside tanning in the sun. I asked her if she could put some sunscreen on my back. Thinking it would be funny, she used the lotion to write "I Love Little Boys". I work as a children's swimming instructor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML
Today, I was at the beach and fell asleep in the sun. When I woke up, there was a blob of sunscreen on my leg. Thinking it was my boyfriend who was sweet enough to squeeze sunscreen for me, I rubbed it into my leg. After smelling my hands, I discovered it was bird poop. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year-old boy. Three times. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jaxro 6
Your girlfriend must be made of pure win, that's hilarious. Just wear a shirt..
3ree 0
if its on your back, clearly you couldnt write it on yourself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
Jari 0
Ever noticed how the words "thought it'd be funny" always come up just before something amazingly retarded happens?
Andyangels27 0
how did you not feel her writing 4 words on your back
IfuckedMYlifebad 0
dump that *****
rotflmmfaoatu 0
could of been worse, she could of drew q penis below that
splarf1991 0
hey dip shit you should have known something was up when you only felt her fingers on select parts of your back! u deserved it
deviable 9
Bandaids. They cover it up and you can pretend you were protecting you gf from a rabid cat.
avbav99 0
So wear a rashguard. Duh.
goldfish094 0
wear a rashy that surfers wear I'm sure that's what you would wear anyway
DeadxManxWalking 27
So you work well with children? Great!
random1368 0
That is disgusting and not funny in the least. You should have wrote something on her back, like "always swallows".