Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 095

You deserved it 7 018

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Same thing different taste

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 272

You deserved it 3 172

By herve - 22/05/2009 19:50 - Lebanon

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 007

You deserved it 11 614

No good

By :(( - 28/09/2013 21:24 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 404

You deserved it 8 025

By Scorned - 16/09/2018 06:00

Today, as things were getting hot with my girlfriend, it came up that I'm a virgin. She broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 835

You deserved it 344

Like a virgin

By chchboy - 22/05/2012 05:05 - United States

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 143

You deserved it 7 111

By Anonymous - 24/04/2013 18:56 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 432

You deserved it 9 834

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 314

You deserved it 38 068

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 731

You deserved it 5 981

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2023 00:02

Today, I finally had sex, but I busted up her cervix, and now we are at the hospital. It was my first time, and now I don’t want to have sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 557

You deserved it 817

By Mini-wanker - 18/10/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 535

You deserved it 8 859

fudgepirate 0

Monday 17 January 2011 9:07

be happy that u have a big dick!! many guys would be jealous!

FistFightingJesu 0

Monday 17 January 2011 9:12

say "bitch relax, we'll make it fit."

Comments

odexy 12

Monday 17 January 2011 12:13

Eh, YDI for jumping straight to sex before anything else.

jrpjlr8993 1

Monday 17 January 2011 12:16

look on the bright side, dude. at least she didn't say it was tiny and laughed. :)

rattusrattus 18

Monday 17 January 2011 12:17

What I don't get is that from what you said it seems like she's never seen your crotch anaconda before. I mean, surely you have tried oral sex and handjobs before? o_O

Seancut 0

Monday 17 January 2011 12:19

true so true

phorcep 0

Monday 17 January 2011 12:21

LETS ALL ARGUE ON THE INTERNET AND MISS THE POINT: FYL OP HAS A HUGE DICK

IronZombie 0

Monday 17 January 2011 12:32

what a fail of an fml. op clearly got rejected for having a little wienie. he probably doesnt even have a girlfriend it was his hand

AhtnamasYerg 0

Sunday 23 January 2011 4:01

Agreed! I instantly thought this post was bullshit.

Saluton 18

Monday 17 January 2011 12:32

You should've taken off her pants first and kiss her all over, giving her no time to think. Did no one mention it?

stevenmx86 7

Monday 17 January 2011 13:05

Dude you should be on some other website bragging..

thisismy83 0

Monday 17 January 2011 13:15

This is a win in my books!

Snooopy_fml 5

Monday 17 January 2011 13:36

uh,uh!!! BAD GRAMMAR, dickwad!!!! you didn't use an apostrophe!!! Stop correcting people about their grammar if you yourself can't write a ******* proper sentence.