Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, my wife and I had a huge fight. I was getting ready to go to sleep on the couch when she came downstairs and grabbed a very large metal spoon. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML
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Top comments
MenacingMe 17
This is where you kick a bitch to the curb, buy a body pillow, call "her" Carol, and have the time of your life.
Rozay333 36
Sounds like my brothers GF, she constantly gets pissed at him (and the rest of my family) over the smallest things that a normal person wouldnt even think of haha. Moral of the story: Bitches Be Crazy!
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Comments (32)
scalde 4
I dunno. We're you poking her with it?
scyth3s 13
What kind of misguided **** could possibly think this is deserved?
yankesik 16
Just so you know, dick up her butt doesn't classify as "cuddling".
HRose 2
Dude, YDI for putting up with that crazy little twat waffle. This should have started "my now ex-girlfriend."
annalily5 28
Listen, this may sound absurd, but some people are really, really bad at cuddling. I hooked up with a guy I knew and stayed the night. I didn't get a single ******* wink of sleep because this dude could not cuddle like a normal ass person who picks a position and sticks with it(maybe with the occasional change up every couple hours). No, every 10-15 minutes, just as I started to drift off, this dude would violently grope me in his sleep and I'd be wide awake. In addition to that he stole all the blankets. I was not in a good mood when he woke up nice and refreshed in the morning wanting to go another round while I had gotten maybe a half hour of sleep. If I was actually dating someone like that and had to deal with that every night a fight would be the least of that dudes worries. I'd probably shank a bitch. So anyway, if your problems are along those lines, I recommend sleeping in separate beds. Because yes, obnoxious cuddling is a thing, and it can inspire murder.
LunaBlack666 23
the 579 YDIs are all from accounts your girlfriend made to spite you.
brickshedloski 9
that's why I got divorced.
RapperAdapter84 3
Hey I think I dated that girl's sister!
DragonRain3390 4
Yeah...she needs to go. If she were the right one, she'd just enjoy you holding her at night.
Mortoli 30
heh you feel bad? i did this with a guy in my sleep i didnt even know he ended up sleepin with me that night. he told me next morning with a horrific look on his face i didn't have the balls to ask what happened lol.