Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Criminal Minds
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Call the cops!
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Gotcha good
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML
Close shave
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Top comments
TanzWolf 26
If he didn't know, then it's be funny, but if he knew.... Well, **** him.
ermegehrd 3
That's awful! Hope you're ok.. Add lube to his food.
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Comments (80)
andersonj219 5
That's a dickish thing to do. Sorry, OP.
wellthenpeople 5
Peanut allergies ain't real niggas
Joancrawfordfan9 2
That,s not good I hope you are ok
blackonblight 33
Prank wars don't generally involve assassination attempts. (Paranoid dictators and fictitious characters might go for it, but the common person's prank war) I think it's time to charge the so-called 'friend' with war crimes.
salespeople123 6
Just add rat poison to his food to get him back
aliciavanham 13
Your friend is nuts! Ooooh that was such an easy joke haha.
Neesa16 4
how do you deserve a peanut allergy???
micka13_123 7
HAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG! This is so funny! Hope you were okay though.
commandercake 5
Oohhh...this is cringe worthy. Hope you're alright, OP. :c
Knightchaser27 25
He's lucky you're still alive