By Kohsukeff - 7/12/2020 08:02 - United States - Gig Harbor

My life is average

Today, as a single, 24-year old college graduate working temp jobs outside his field, the only thing I look forward to in my day is what I get to eat for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

755

You deserved it

107

Tweet

Share

Proactive

Serious times

Trust

By wtfrelationship - Singapore

Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30560

You deserved it

11424

Tweet

Share

By braceforcarnage - United States

Today, I got broken up with. In a text message. She texted my grandma, who then had to forward said text to me. I got broken up via grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42902

You deserved it

3152

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Hagersville

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15366

You deserved it

55843

Tweet

Share

By cars hate me - United States - Compton

Today, my car was rear-ended and totaled. Last year, during the same month, my previous car was rear-ended and totaled. I should just stop driving during the month of February. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6082

You deserved it

408

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23550

You deserved it

46598

Tweet

Share

By FML4evs - United States

Pete Townshend has a lot to answer for

Today, my little brother watched an old video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

I agree, your life sucks

85675

You deserved it

4656

Tweet

Share

By myBFsucks - Canada

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50231

You deserved it

7509

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13423

You deserved it

34565

Tweet

Share

By regretter

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33875

You deserved it

7744

Tweet

Share

By Hungry - United States

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22519

You deserved it

4446

Tweet

Share

By PinkTornado - Canada

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After three long weeks of him ignoring me and cancelling out on time we were supposed to spend with each other. He looked at me with the most confused look on his face. Then he says ''Are you serious? I was planning the perfect day to ask you to marry me'' FML

I agree, your life sucks

39736

You deserved it

97413

Tweet

Share

By Rissa Warrington - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33734

You deserved it

4674

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I had a heart attack. In the hospital the doctor compared my heart to that of a stressed out 60 year-old's. I'm 17 and I don't even have a job yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24100

You deserved it

1921

Tweet

Share

By fuauntflo - 7/7/2020 17:01

Thanks, I'm cured!

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1973

You deserved it

165

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Learning curve

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3929

You deserved it

453

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after 38 years of never meeting my dad, and paying a private investigator thousands of pounds over several weeks of searching, I found him living 2 floors down in the same block of flats. He’s the grouchy downstairs neighbour I’ve hated for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5943

You deserved it

440

Tweet

Share

By Fennec - France - Paris

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40414

You deserved it

4863

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68048

You deserved it

7232

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25677

You deserved it

4892

Tweet

Share

By failure

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20658

You deserved it

80677

Tweet

Share

By Cheryl

Go, Vegan!

Today, my vegan sister told my kids where meat and dairy products come from, in a very detailed way. They now refuse to eat meat, and want to, "rescue all the poor animals." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1744

You deserved it

495

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Philippines - Dasmari?as

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47418

You deserved it

3147

Tweet

Share

By rejectedson - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34568

You deserved it

2241

Tweet

Share

By Anon - United States - West Jefferson

Today, my girlfriend and I went on a date. I went to the bathroom. When I came back, she was sitting at a different table flirting with a guy that looked twice as old as her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2449

You deserved it

218

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Elk Grove

Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55373

You deserved it

5478

Tweet

Share

By meeee - 13/2/2021 23:01

Nice to see you

Today, I saw my 89-year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML

I agree, your life sucks

817

You deserved it

79

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46965

You deserved it

4474

Tweet

Share

By ouch - United States

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

I agree, your life sucks

26774

You deserved it

39570

Tweet

Share

By Fluffy

Thanks, honey.

Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML

I agree, your life sucks

4576

You deserved it

880

Tweet

Share

By Harry - United States - Milledgeville

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47760

You deserved it

8266

Tweet

Share

By Laurel - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks

50778

You deserved it

9039

Tweet

Share

By wtfkasey - Canada - Dundas

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26096

You deserved it

1972

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/7/2020 05:01

The road to hell, good intentions, all that jazz

Today, in the process of leaning over the sink to close the drain so my diamond earrings wouldn't fall in as I put them on, I dropped my diamond earring down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1126

You deserved it

653

Tweet

Share

By whyme_ss - United States

Today, I got into my boyfriends car having to pee really badly. I accidentally peed everywhere. He kicked me out. I had to walk four miles home in 20 degree weather. In wet clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16062

You deserved it

45143

Tweet

Share

By sharni88 - Australia

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16955

You deserved it

29250

Tweet

Share

By Becks - 7/9/2020 23:01

The spirit of John Lennon

Today, I found a bug in my bra. Not a huge deal, so I flicked him out. Turns out he was a black blister beetle. I woke to at 3 a.m. to insane pain, as well as the water blisters all over my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1474

You deserved it

91

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30688

You deserved it

5682

Tweet

Share

By ZSL - United States

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

76605

You deserved it

9026

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36079

You deserved it

5185

Tweet

Share

By Sissyleemae

Today, I got fired from my job for stopping a shoplifter. Where's the logic? FML

I agree, your life sucks

2971

You deserved it

316

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By spinspinsugar | 11

#7956597 - Monday 7 December 2020 20:04

it's all downhill from there

By ZombieToast420 | 1

#7956609 - Monday 7 December 2020 20:33

Welcome to the club buddy, I hope you weren't thinking it gets any better

COMMENTS

By spinspinsugar | 11

#7956597 - Monday 7 December 2020 20:04

it's all downhill from there

By ZombieToast420 | 1

#7956609 - Monday 7 December 2020 20:33

Welcome to the club buddy, I hope you weren't thinking it gets any better