Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
lmmmr 0
"I broke the rules and got caught waaaah FML!!" Seriously, grow up. Regardless of your views on marijuana, if you are young enough that your parents knowing is an issue, YDI for disrespecting them.
Katzilla_dances 0
YDI for doing pot
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
Farnz 0
I love how potheads try to make pot out to be healthy, because even if it IS, here's the issue: The potheads really don't give a shit. They don't actually care about any sort of medical benefit they could actually get from it, they just want to be cowardly little ***** too afraid to face the world as what it is. Also: YDI. Maybe if you didn't do so much pot you would have realized doing it with a friend is going to up your chances of getting caught by a whole hell of a lot.
djm0109 0
Here's the thing. The only people that are talking about how horrible pot is and naming all these stereotypes of 'potheads' are the people that have never even tried it. People only have this horrible idea of pot because that's how our society has defined it. Case and point, prohibition in 30's. Oh yeah...alcohol was horrible, it was the devil. And then the government re-legalized it because 1. people were drinking it anyway 2. it was a great source of revenue. If our president (whom I whole-heartedly DO NOT support) can admit to smoking pot and somehow still manage to go to law school and clearly make something of himself by becoming president then you know, maybe it's not as horrible as some people think. I ignorantly and naively had the same beliefs until I tried it and then I realized that it's not as mind altering and horrible as some believe. As with any substance, such as marijuana or alcohol, all it takes is a little responsibility. Of course, if it is used in excess or irresponsibly there will be negative effects. But the same goes for over eating or alcohol.
jennam_fml 4
I've tried it, and even though I don't find it "horrible", I find it to be a huge waste of my time. I didn't like getting the munchies, not being able to navigate properly, and I HATED passing out about an hour later, for around three hours. If it's what people want to do, it's none of my business or my body, it's not harming me in any way. The only thing that REALLY bothers me about it is when all these 13 year olds get their hands on it, and abuse it by smoking it everyday, along with alcohol and cigarettes.
Nate25 0
make it easy on yourself DONT BE A SLAVE POT-HEAD ADDICT! ya idiot...
Ric3ball 0
Oh, what a great friend. :P
cmac86 23
ydi for smoking pot.
mikew85 0
Whether you agree with marijuana laws or not, what the OP is doing is illegal, so theyhpuldnt be surprised to get in trouble. Look on the bright side, at least those narcs didn't tell the cops:-p
cmac86 23
ha ha ha ha! actually helps prevent heart disease?! that's one ofthe funniest things I've heard in a while. the fact is I'm a cardiologist, and pot does nothing beneficial for you. smoking anything hurts your body. hmmm. the only benefit I can see is if an anorexic(sp?) person smoked it to eat afterwards,lol. as for me, I will NEVER prescribe it.
SpazTheGreat 14
And I would never go to any professional who doesn't at least use decent grammar and punctuation, spellchecker while in a serious debate. So, take your "profession" and shove it.
Tubasaurus 0
Either English is not your native language or you are full of shit. I'm betting on the latter.
Julle_fml 0
Uhm, there are several studies which show that marijuana has benefits for the person who smokes it. Among others the benefits can be pain relief and lowered blood pressure. Shouldn't you know this as a cardiologist?
kisseshugsdrugs 5
the fact is, i would never want you to be my cardiologist since 1: you cant spell. and 2: you ended your post with "lol" are you five? FAIL.
junkie_fml 0
lol..
ManganeseDream 0
277: TRUE. Also, the illegality of marijuana promotes the smoking of it. If it were cheap and plentiful enough, lots of people would only be eating it in various delicious forms or vaporising it (which targets only the active compounds and is generally less efficient).
muffinsareyummy 1
what a dick. fyl.