Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, my friend got drunk. He always pukes when he gets drunk, but I decided to drive him home anyway. He didn't puke the whole ride. We arrived at his house and he got out. Right as I was about to drive away he stumbled back to my car because he forgot his wallet. He grabbed it and puked on me. FML
Today, some unprovoked drunk asshole tried punching a hole through the windshield of my car. While I was driving it. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
Today, I got into an accident and my car was totaled. My friends then took me out to a bar for a drink to make me feel better. It appears that the police officer I'd spoken to had kept my I.D. by mistake and I couldn't get into the bar. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, my friend found out his girlfriend was cheating on him. He came to talk to me, and I was happy to help him through this tough time… until he drank a bottle of whiskey by himself. He flew into a drunken rage and started punching holes in the wall and throwing furniture. Now my house is wrecked. FML
Today, my friend and I were eating in my car in a McDonald's parking lot, when an angry, drunk man stumbled out of the restaurant and into his car. He then hit the McDonald's wall, turned around and sped straight into my car. I only bought it a week ago. FML
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Top comments
lollipop77_fml 6
.."found him!"
KailyKii 11
Kinda sounds like it's from a movie.
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Comments (96)
princess151617 4
Lmao
Okayitwasme 0
As long as you were not drinking and driving. Sound like maybe he was too drunk to be walking.
xrudeboyrock 29
lmfao. hopefully he was drunk enough that you can pass off his bruises as a bar fight or something.
SirLongRod 0
Could have been worse. You could have hit her...
meatsprayglove 1
Haha that's hilarious... Unless you serioulsly injured him... Than.. Oops that sucks
Kingbreezy04 10
Haha I laughed so hard. Your an awesome friend
ClearlyEpic 10
Hahahahahaha sounds like something that would happen to me
LostRose22 2
Well...its the thought that counts lol...but wow.
perdix 31
Accident? Right ;) That's a pretty disturbing way to get a girlfriend. (Although not altogether unclever.)
UrCapsLockOn 12
what happens when he drunk stays till he's sobar .... nah ??