Today, my family attended the funeral of an old family friend's baby, who died in childbirth. Afterwards, my husband went around snickering and quietly telling dead baby jokes to the other attendees. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, at work, we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
Today, I attended the funeral of a close friend. Most of the other guests were openly grinning and joking around, and the guy in front of me kept muttering, "That's what she said!" during the eulogy. FML
Today, my sister announced her pregnancy at my husband's funeral. FML
Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
Today, at the funeral home where I work, I asked my boss if it was time to "bring out the stiff". I didn't realize the guy's family was not only in the building, but within earshot as well. FML
Today, I was at work, when a co-worker began to shake a near empty box. Without thinking, I shouted "What if there was a baby in there? You just killed it!" I then remembered she recently suffered a miscarriage. FML
Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
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Top comments
choose8 0
that's messed up
ADayToPierceTheV 0
what a dick
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Comments (162)
tsmsport 1
o shit
dannyfitz18 4
that's cruel dump him
mba1425 0
does any one know any good dead baby jokes?
67gtojake 7
what is the difference between a tree and a baby. it's legal to hit one with an ax. what is the difference between a baby and a mellon? one is fun to hit with a sedge hammer the other is a mellon.
sxe_beast 11
What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion? You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
NoodleBurger 0
HAHAH.
Lax434 5
haha I love dead baby jokes!!!
Lax434 5
what's red yellow, blue, and is found at the bottom of a pool? a dead baby with slashed floaties. what's yellow green and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? same baby three weeks later. what's red and yellow at the top of a pool? floaties with a slashed baby. how do u stop a baby from drowning? take your foot of it's head. :)
Halcyon3210 6
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on how high you need your stool.
The_Hitchhiker 0
How many times do I have to say this on this website, DTMFA!!
goshpeople 4
Double word in this post... "the the".
666xSYXXXx666 0
Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first??? To see the expression on its face
xAwkwardness 0
That's just one of the biggest douche bag I've seen ._.
12dcevin 5
babies... what if oneday they ruled the world