Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend, a math teacher, wanted to recite multiplication...

By hannahpasdebol - 02/05/2017 17:39 - France

Today, my boyfriend, a math teacher, wanted to recite multiplication timetables while making love in order to come less quickly. He could only recite up to the number 5 because as it turns out, the timetables actually turn him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 532

You deserved it 183

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Top comments

Cassidy 6

Thursday 8 March 2018 5:22

I actually think that’s kind of cute

Comments

Cassidy 6

Thursday 8 March 2018 5:22

I actually think that’s kind of cute

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, my mom and I went to visit my Dad to wish him happy birthday. I was at a red light, waiting to make a left-hand turn into the only driveway, and once the light turned green, I was unable to go, because another car was coming out. Cars behind me were beeping. I was turning into the cemetery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 101

Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 677

You deserved it 2 919

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 158

You deserved it 28 375

Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 3 634

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 639

You deserved it 44 422

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 793

You deserved it 10 074