Animals: Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone...

By Cedar Buero - 05/03/2017 19:00 - United States - Cape Girardeau

Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 395

You deserved it 678

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/04/2015 17:18 - United States - Birmingham

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 200

You deserved it 21 369

By toadface - 04/08/2009 23:25 - United States

Today, I took my puppy outside to play. At one point, she stopped chewing on her toy and ran over to give me a big kiss all over my face and mouth. A few minutes later I realized that her chew toy was actually the dried up carcass of a toad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 509

You deserved it 7 972

By jessica071509 - 24/04/2012 05:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 329

You deserved it 3 693

By dog got ur phone - 07/05/2017 02:00

Today, I was playing music from my phone, which was on the couch. I guess my dog got jealous, because she picked it up and ran over to the toilet, promptly dropping it right in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 996

You deserved it 734

By Anonymous - 14/11/2011 05:09 - United States

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 292

You deserved it 4 652

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 19:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 892

You deserved it 4 505

By peanuts - 03/07/2010 04:04 - United States

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 188

You deserved it 36 130

Ungrateful doggo

By Oww - 20/01/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, my dog was trying to chew on his bone, but he kept losing it because he still has to wear the cone of shame. He eventually lost it completely. When I tried to help him by picking it up, he bit my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 181

By Z3R0G5 - 06/01/2014 23:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 169

You deserved it 19 253

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 1 230

GoogieWithers 22

Monday 6 March 2017 3:20

Dogs are silly, he may have heard you saying it was an Apple?

extremereviews 26

Monday 6 March 2017 3:04

That bitch

Comments

TADspace 30

Monday 6 March 2017 2:26

Well that's a dog gone shame.

ElusiveMee 6

Monday 6 March 2017 2:28

Son of a female dog.

extremereviews 26

Monday 6 March 2017 3:04

That bitch

GoogieWithers 22

Monday 6 March 2017 3:20

Dogs are silly, he may have heard you saying it was an Apple?

darshini_ii 24

Monday 6 March 2017 4:09

Did your phone survive? A cat seems to be able to crack a screen with a sneeze. What super power does this pupper have?

Galym3d3 18

Monday 6 March 2017 10:52

Yes, the blank white screen is hilarious!

Alan 54

Monday 6 March 2017 16:00

Update your app :)

LyricaSilvan 29

Monday 6 March 2017 18:48

I have the updated version and it still isn't showing anything. The site's broken.

maritime1992 5

Monday 6 March 2017 12:06

This would be a good time to use his body as a kickball.

jbuckets_404 38

Monday 6 March 2017 12:48

OP: Been there, too.... :-(

young_stud 14

Monday 6 March 2017 16:18

We should be careful with leaving nice things around pets. I learned this from owning a cat and I imagine it would be the same with dogs.

whydiditdothat 12

Tuesday 7 March 2017 1:51

This would be the reason you don't leave nice things where pets can reach.

Keywords

Friends Love Teenagers Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Work Awkward Parents Relatable Weird Miscellaneous Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Annoying Roommate Shoes Music Names Customers Education Capitalism

The Top

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 85

Today, I discovered that whenever my house is affected by a blackout, the cooler for my Xbox will turn on by itself when it's fixed. My Xbox cooler flashes repeatedly, alternating between several bright colors, when it turns on. If I'm asleep when it happens, which is often the case, it wakes me up. Every. Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 374

The Top

Today, I came home to find the dog had learned how to open our stair-gate and kitchen door, devoured the entire fruitcake I'd made for a special occasion, and then vomited said fruitcake all over the fabric sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 509

You deserved it 4 381

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 054

You deserved it 20 079

Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 940

You deserved it 3 164

Today, I was accidentally tagged in a photo of a group of people by a 'friend' on Facebook. She later corrected it, apparently everyone had already seen the tag and decided that the comment box below was a great opportunity to discuss how none of them would ever be caught dead hanging out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 682

You deserved it 3 921

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 835

You deserved it 3 109

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 693

You deserved it 3 658

Same thing different taste

Ungrateful doggo

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Top comments

Comments