Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I was late for work, so I rushed out of bed only to accidentally step onto my dog which then promptly bit my leg and now I'm in the ER. FML
Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML
Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML
Today, the family dog escaped and I ran after her. She started attacking a random dog, so I started clapping and yelling, trying to get her attention. After I got her away, my hands started swelling. I clapped my hands so hard that they're swollen and bruised. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, my roommate whipped my face with a frozen chicken cutlet. My cheek is now the size of the chicken cutlet, and now he won't drive me to the hospital because it's "too funny to look at." FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
There's a shorter wait time at the vet.
Luqdude 0
Finger Lickin' Good...
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Comments (146)
pippa08 0
hahaha! Im sure you made the nurses day :p certainly made mine!
Levvy 22
What additional context does the phrase "fancy dress" provide to "costume"? Genuine question.
alival 12
I think this is the first time I've her "chicken costume" and "fancy dress" in the same sentence
JD18 0
When does he ever say "fancy dress?"
JD18 0
When does it ever say "fancy dress"?
lionandthelamb61 9
JD18, it did say that, but the FML was edited, I'm guessing to absolve any confusion.
causticgirl 6
And you said "what the cluck? You stupid dog, it's me!"
himoonkey 8
I guess your dog likes to eat ****
MaceFaceLOL 8
I love your picture.
monkeywrench1 10
You can't chicken out; you always have to show your dog who's in charge. :) Sorry OP! :(
iloveweed69 7
LOLOL that's a funny thought to think about
soccerdude79 0
Was the dog black?
crauen 0
alright! party!
crazyblackchick 0
Be on the lookout for Peter Griffin. I think he has beef with you, chicken.