You don’t need to go to the hospital for basically a slap in the face. Ice it. Take I uprisen and put your big panties on.

Why did [s]he hit you

get a new roommate and or call someone to help you get to the hospital

do the same to your roommate but on both sides

Put something cold on it to reduce swelling. Like a bag of ice or a bag of frozen vegetables. Or a frozen chicken cutlet.

That would be assault, battery and domestic violence. I’m pretty sure the police would like to come and take your roommate for a ride, if you called.

Call a cab to the ER, then DTMFA. That's a deal-breaker.

Yuz may well mock, but frozen cutlet related deaths are a serious concern. They are rapidly becoming the weapon of choice in domestic assaults as the evidence can quickly be thawed and eaten before the fuzz arrives 🚨

What leads up to a cutlet thrashing?