By 2.5-long-months - 28/07/2016 13:49 - Canada - Edmonton

Spicy
Today, my husband and I had our first prenatal appointment. My doctor told us we shouldn't have sex during the first trimester, "just to be safe". He has no evidence to back this, but now my husband is too scared to touch me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 341
You deserved it 1 643

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Uuuh, what evidence would you require, OP? It just seems to be common sense that sperm in your husband's urethra will get jealous and try to pull the newly formed zygote out. Honestly, people these days…

usnwife 18

Unless you have some issue that puts you at risk, that's total crap and I would be finding a new OB asap! If your dr doesnt base anything on facts then you are in for one rough pregnancy...what's next, not lifting your arms above your head or being on your feet at all? On the plus side, your husband seems really sweet and wants to take care of you and baby, however misguided he may be!

Comments

Go to a different doctor. take your husband with you.

I agree. Find a new, competent doctor and let them explain to your hubby that the previous doc was a quack. Nothing wrong at all with sex during pregnancy in ANY trimester. Also, just listen to your body. Reproduction is one of the most basic function of the female human body. You can definitely rely on your instincts. And when you are horny, have sex.

usnwife 18

Unless you have some issue that puts you at risk, that's total crap and I would be finding a new OB asap! If your dr doesnt base anything on facts then you are in for one rough pregnancy...what's next, not lifting your arms above your head or being on your feet at all? On the plus side, your husband seems really sweet and wants to take care of you and baby, however misguided he may be!

Well, umm... Anyone with a biology background can tell you that the female body, especially under stress or excitement during an ****** can usually self-terminate a baby within the first couple months. Women self-abort all the time when conditions aren't right for the body to continue the development of a fetus. So it's not that farfetched at all, in reality.

Angelrose2004 17

Ptoka, your biology background doesn't include Google, does it? I would love to see a credible source that says orgasms cause "self-abortion." That is by far the most far-fetched thing I've heard in a long time.

9 - was that an attempt at sarcasm? I'm well into my 3rd pregnancy and have never been told to abstain from sex while pregnant. OP, definitely find a new OB.

ptoka is actually somewhat correct in what was said. I remember in both my pregnancies when I had an ****** I could viscuously feel my uterus contacting and it scared me but I never talked to the doctor about it yet neither did I miscarry or self abort as a result. so basically it's all about how comfortable the woman feels about how her body responds with it (assuming she has no abnormal conditions diagnosed by the doc which would HAVE FACTS). And don't worry, OP there are many many men who have this apparent fear of "poking the baby" or the baby "seeing his junk" lol (watch Knocked Up) even I was affected by the "I don't want to hurt the baby" response lol it'll get better

usnwife 18

Yes, ****** can cause some minor contractions, but in a healthy pregnancy they put you at no extra risk. I was put on "pelvic rest" (no sex, no heavy lifting, limit time on my feet) at the end of my last pregnancy due to preterm labor in both my previous pregnancy as well as that one at the time, and it is common to suggest refraining from sex early in pregnancy if there is a history of miscarriage or other complications, but the majority of pregnancies have no such issues and sex is perfectly healthy. Since the dr had no reasoning for it and she doesnt mention any issues I believe it is safe to assume OP has a normal healthy pregnancy, therefore no reason to eliminate sex. I have had 4 kids, 6 drs, and did plenty of research (scholarly, not basic google) of my own, so this "basic biology" information is as reliable as OP's dr!

Wrong wrong wrong! Yes spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) is common but it is not due to the contracting of the uterus during ******. Pregnancy is 1000% safe during the first trimester unless you have had previous miscarriages. The most common reasons for spontaneous abortion include chromosomal abnormalities that make it impossible for the fetus to grow & thrive & a blighted ovum where a gestational sac develops but no zygote is ever formed. There are also the situations where the woman's body rejects the pregnancy before she even knows she's pregnant. You are misinformed and spreading your misinformation to others please stop. You are no better than the ignorant Doctor. Without medical reason such as spotting or heavier vaginal bleeding which can happen and a pregnancy come to term fine there is no reason not to have sex. I spotted the first 4 weeks of my pregnancy every time I orgasmed and after a pap smear and transnational ultrasound I bleed bright red. It is extremely common.

But how great would it be if you could have an abortion by having an ******? Best birth control ever!

derpina72 23

OP, I really hope you read these comments and listen to usnwife! I have a son, and I've never heard anything about abstaining from sex in the first trimester, unless of course you were high risk, which based off this, you're not. My main worry, here, is that you get a new OB ASAP. If they already don't know wtf they are talking about, you absolutely DO NOT need that during your labor. Please, please, please find a new OB and have a happy, healthy pregnancy! :)

14, that is exactly what an ****** is...uterine contractions. If a woman is uncomfortable with feeling the ****** (which is hard to imagine-at least for me) then she should avoid it, but otherwise, it's fine and supposed to happen.

bearsmomma- thank you!!! it made me feel really uncomfortable in my second pregnancy after I knew what labor contractions feel like. Bc of that I have it 2 more shots and with the same result and each one being painful I made myself hold off till it was D day. but I also turned out to be high risk midway in bc of some varying factors like severly high stress and gestational diabetes. I also made the worst most ducked up decision in the world to get high and even continue to smoke cigarettes and I am dying inside bc of that (august 5th I will finally have 6 months clean and sober praise God). so all things tied in together (i mostly blame the druga) led me into delivery at just 33 weeks. my daughter was in the NICU for 2 months before her new parents were able to take her home. (yes I chose adoption for her bc of the way I was living and the way I treated her while she was still inside me. I knew I couldn't give her what she would need outside of love and I wasn't willing to put her thru all that i have been thru dragging her around from state to state without a father and strange men in and out of my life. she didn't deserve that kind of life.) usnwife- thank you for your scholastic information. so many need to read that and I hope OP does

I'm sorry for your pain fishinpink. It's very brave of you to share your story. I smoked through my pregnancies (cigarettes only) and also was high risk for reasons you mentioned. my boys were both in NICU but for no more than a week. I know it's hard to leave your baby behind at the hospital, though I can't imagine what you've been through. Hope you're doing well now and CONGRATS ON YOUR SOBRIETY!

thanks bearsmomma! it was really hard to leave her but they did let me come back to the hospital to visit her until she got to to home. she was born 12/19/13 so the first time I got to go back and see was on Christmas day and on new years day I got to hold her. although it was hard it was probably my best Christmas and new years gifts in the world. and I'm lucky I that her mom is someone I grew up with in dance classes. I actually looked up to her in so many ways.

Uuuh, what evidence would you require, OP? It just seems to be common sense that sperm in your husband's urethra will get jealous and try to pull the newly formed zygote out. Honestly, people these days…

I call it survival of the fittest. Only the worthy endure.

A hunger game of sorts, with the prize being the ability to remain alive in a cold, uncaring world.

I'm picturing attack on titan with all the sperm zipping around attacking a fetus with a creepy grin slowly swatting at em all with the theme song playing... Yup it's playing in your head now too

#5: Unfortunately, the news often provides examples of "YDI," too.... Sometimes, it's even us! lol

Malsain_fml 10

I would start with the same "what evidence would you require, OP?". If doctor says "no", well then it's a "no". If she wants to see another doctor, she can. But unless some real specialist come and says to them they can have sex safely, well they would better not have any.

I think your husband is being careless you need to be put into an isolation camper with padded walls and 3 levels of disinfectant for visitors if you need to leave wear a bubble for safety and remember NO TOUCHING! good luck with the baby

Unless OP offers her husband some waffles and sausage... Wait is her husband the same OP from that FML?

tash901 31

It would be understandable if you had a medical condition that could affect you or your baby but this doesn't seem to be the case, your doctor sounds very old fashioned, you may need to get a new doctor even if it is a bit of hassle now it may make your pregnancy easier for you. Your partner sounds like a great man that cares deeply for you and your little one in waiting :) Good luck with the baby I wish you all the best! :)

jackiegarcia20 6

I was high risk, and never told that. You should maybe meet a new Dr. Congratulations and good luck!

I read that as Doctor Congratulations and it made me very happy.

I too was high risk and told sex was fine. Later in the pregnancy they told me an ****** could produce some contractions, but it would be more like Braxton hicks.

I mean, the doctor has no evidence to back that up, but, shout out to your husband for wanting to be careful

Find a new doctor right away, OP. I sincerely hope it doesn't, but if something does go wrong, you need a good, knowledgeable doctor on your case.

That is some medieval nonsense right there!