Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
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Top comments
delude 26
Dad wants you to be pregnant? That's a first.
sumbum95 15
Just laugh about it! It'll make a funny story hahaha.
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Comments (66)
vlalam 24
Do a bunch of shopping on his account and blame it in pregnancy hormones and make a show in the mall if he doesn't pay for it... But honestly, either ur dad has a fun sense of humor or is a troll..
bessiemay01 5
As a heavily pregnant person, I take offense to people doing this. It makes me mad when I see people who are obviously not pregnant or far enough along to need those spots. It really is hard to walk a long distance when you're 25 or more weeks. At 31 weeks it's a marathon.
domolovesyoshi 33
yeah, it's like people parking in handicapped bays when not handicapped
worldclassrager 41
If he wants to park close he can fake an injury and get a handicap tag
messeduplife2 7
I was in a car with all guys (5 of us) and they made me do that so we could go to Toys R Us lol
ruthi666 23
I once pretended my ex boyfriend got me pregnant to get him out of work on the 4th of July so we could go to a party. I ran in their screaming at him and his boss let him go to take care of his "personal problems."
foxwasalamb 24
what the actual ****
MrsKilown 20
Because walking 20 more steps into a Babies-R-US is way too much! Did he use an automated scooter too?
adamnbb 25
I actually thought about someone doing this just for the parking spot.. Sad to see your dad made you OP.
EmsyyyRose13 24
That sounds like something my stepdad would do. Just laugh it off, OP.
ELoni_fml 25
Just say "I don't need to pretend dad, I'm actually pregnant!" That should teach him a tiny heart attack inducing lesson