Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
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Top comments
delude 26
Dad wants you to be pregnant? That's a first.
sumbum95 15
Just laugh about it! It'll make a funny story hahaha.
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Comments (66)
telli164 30
I see no FML in this at all! That's just your dad being a dad. The only bad thing is the inconvenience, you may have caused to women who were actually pregnant.
saryndipity 4
Your dad is a lazy prick of the worst kind - the kind that think society's rules don't apply to him. FYL
John_in_Oz 12
The free parking was a plus, but the real fun was in totally pwning you.
MlleMC_fml 19
No need to be fat for this. One of my friends could easily fake pregnancy while she weighed only 105 pounds.
ZorroRooster 19
You could have said no. Just a thought. Or said you'd do it for money.
Foreverheavyn 7
my mom did that once and she played pregnant
Ben009 13
Your dad kicks ass
xXKitty_01085 7
A new excuse for getting pregnant ... OP and her dad are genius.
2ndincommand 6
I WOULD LOVE TO DO THAT
nurchok 15
Wow really? In Canada it's based on trust, so you don't have to pretend. If you park in the "Expectant mothers" spot, no one will question you...