Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML
Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I'm so bad at parking that I saw the guy next to me openly cringe as I pulled into a spot. FML
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
Today, my dad forced me to leave my empty shopping cart in the middle of a store, rather than return it to the corral. My dad’s word is law, and all I can think about is how much of an asshole I am. FML
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
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Top comments
delude 26
Dad wants you to be pregnant? That's a first.
sumbum95 15
Just laugh about it! It'll make a funny story hahaha.
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Comments (66)
gbrodee1 5
He is a crafty son of a bitch
Fuaaad1994 31
Just be glad you had to stick out your gut. It would be more of an fml if he said you didn't need to as you already look pregnant
Sirmrcrowley 12
I'm sure there are dads who have done worse!!
ChakatBlackstar 29
Unless something's changed that I don't know about, the expecting mothers and senior citizens parking spots aren't legally enforceable, so he could use that spot all he likes. It would be rude, but perfectly legal. It's only handicapped spots where the restriction is legally enforceable.
glabberfasted 16
I think you're right. It would be kind of weird to see an officer force someone to take a pregnancy test to use one of those spots anyway.
jimmy_poison 19
17- you may be right about it not being illegal to park in senior or parental parks, but it is definitely an asshole move to take them because you are just lazy
ian3866 12
I'd rather see someone park in those spots than those asshats that take up two spots with their "I'm too cool" cars
buttcramp 21
Where I live, you register with the grocery stores for a sticker to put on the car's windshield during your pregnancy. it's just filling out who your doctor is and who is your emergency contact if you happen to go into labor in the store or parking lot.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Crafty yet lazy.
FlyingPie 17
That's a shitty situation.
adair112 15
got to love dads
narwhalicious 15
Finding parking is hard...
cook4money 9
So you did it and somehow think this is a fml moment? You decided to do it instead of saying no. I'm confused as to why this is anything other than a ydi moment.
brandoneyez1 25
Now you have a funny story.