Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML
Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, I was at the airport, on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was four years-old. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to fuck off. The strange man was my father. FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I flew home to visit my parents. We haven't seen each other in two years, I've gotten a few tattoos done since, and I knew they wouldn't approve, so I bought whole new outfits that covered everything and looked professional. When I got there, the first thing my mom says to me is, "Is that a nose ring!?" FML
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Just point to your arms and tell him "they ought to be more worried about these guns."
shaaza 16
Since when did "face-bombs" become a thing?
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Comments (57)
qdawg06 23
Some zits are pretty explosive.
brandan020 10
ok thats mean but kinda funny if you think about it
JustinJK 21
I've thought about it very hard. you're right. it's funny.
Teyros 24
well.. He's sort of looking out for you I guess. In a dickish way.
91hayek 31
True. Better him tell you than you have everyone look at it and give you weird looks without you knowing why. Of which you'll come and post about on FML.
wheresmymary 22
Don't you just love parents?
Stillo 25
Heeeee... Dad humor.... No?
Pyneapple 19
At least your dad didn't leave you when you were 3 years old on your birthday. Thanks for the surprise birthday gift asshole! Don't bother downvoting me. I'll do it myself :)
gintwinsmoore 20
25, no need for a down vote from me...:) I do hope that this hasn't affected you too much in your daily life though. If so, seek counseling or something.
CaitieNicole 9
"Father of Mine" Everclear kind of moment.
Wafalafaugus 18
At least you weren't apprehended over the bomb joke.
janfleury 19
That was very mean. Sorry OP.
gintwinsmoore 20
damn that's cold...and insensitive! sorry OP!
ontheFLY4 25
How does a person not notice that kind of monstrosity growing on their face?