Miscellaneous: Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd...

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 2 043

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Same thing different taste

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 14 425

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 2 126

By Nchristine - 27/05/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 926

You deserved it 4 137

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 596

You deserved it 32 253

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 759

You deserved it 4 992

Hell no

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 073

You deserved it 8 926

By embarrassed - 21/07/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 779

You deserved it 117 655

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 141

By creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 2 511

By canadiansun - 26/02/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 208

You deserved it 4 053

astoryofroses 9

Monday 18 June 2012 9:03

happy father's day!

lajaynay 15

Monday 18 June 2012 9:08

What would possess him to do that? Like seriously? How is that even a good joke?

Comments

br0ccoli 14

Monday 18 June 2012 11:06

Worst wingman ever.

LittleDevil01 4

Monday 18 June 2012 12:19

what a lovely dad!

Feared 9

Monday 18 June 2012 14:12

I wonder where he was going with that ?...

SqueakyChipmunk 21

Monday 18 June 2012 23:20

Angry insurance sex?

desertpunk75 11

Monday 18 June 2012 15:38

Worst. Pickup. Line. Ever.

lilysmiles143 0

Monday 18 June 2012 16:24

omg thats too far soooo did u get beat up or somthn?

EnzaiFreak 1

Monday 18 June 2012 17:37

Troll Dad shrikes again

Ima_NeRD6213 4

Monday 18 June 2012 18:54

What!? I'm guessing you haven't seen the Allstate car insurance commercial. One of those girls has the potential to be your future wife! Thank Him

Leslier_fml 4

Monday 18 June 2012 21:51

Your dad sounds like homer simpson.

esandp234 0

Tuesday 19 June 2012 6:36

My best friend knocked over a bunch of motorcycled... When the guys came out, guess who got blamed.

cwtb19 0

Wednesday 20 June 2012 21:02

That's effed up.

Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Relatable Birthday Abuse Social Media Scams Money Health Public freakouts Kids Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Transportation Bikes Cops Family Fight Work Customers Gross Miscellaneous AITA Mother in law

The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 682

You deserved it 7 123

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

The Top

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 827

You deserved it 6 950

Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 130

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to a snake. Not because of the size or shape, but because a snake is not something she imagines herself ever touching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 165

You deserved it 3 724

Today, my mom was giving me a long lecture about being aware of my surroundings, because you never know what's out there. While she was talking, I noticed a drug deal going down in the Walmart parking lot. She didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 937

You deserved it 2 411

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 193

You deserved it 5 933

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 003

You deserved it 3 155