Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML
Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML
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Top comments
astoryofroses 9
happy father's day!
lajaynay 15
What would possess him to do that? Like seriously? How is that even a good joke?
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Comments (64)
br0ccoli 15
Worst wingman ever.
LittleDevil01 4
what a lovely dad!
Feared 9
I wonder where he was going with that ?...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Angry insurance sex?
desertpunk75 11
Worst. Pickup. Line. Ever.
lilysmiles143 0
omg thats too far soooo did u get beat up or somthn?
EnzaiFreak 1
Troll Dad shrikes again
Ima_NeRD6213 4
What!? I'm guessing you haven't seen the Allstate car insurance commercial. One of those girls has the potential to be your future wife! Thank Him
Leslier_fml 4
Your dad sounds like homer simpson.
esandp234 0
My best friend knocked over a bunch of motorcycled... When the guys came out, guess who got blamed.
cwtb19 0
That's effed up.