Miscellaneous: Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd...

By annonymous - 18/06/2012 01:57 - United States

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 2 043

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Same thing different taste

Two in one

By cactii - 16/02/2015 20:43 - United States

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 442

You deserved it 14 425

McSteamy

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 11:00

Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 207

You deserved it 2 126

By Nchristine - 27/05/2010 20:59 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 926

You deserved it 4 137

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 596

You deserved it 32 253

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 759

You deserved it 4 992

Hell no

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 073

You deserved it 8 926

By embarrassed - 21/07/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 779

You deserved it 117 655

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 141

By creys - 18/11/2012 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to Target with my dad, and he told me to get in the shopping cart. I thought he was being cool and wanted to push me around. He snorted and said he was thinking about crashing me into a car and suing the driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 203

You deserved it 2 511

By canadiansun - 26/02/2010 18:37 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 208

You deserved it 4 053

astoryofroses 9

Monday 18 June 2012 9:03

happy father's day!

lajaynay 15

Monday 18 June 2012 9:08

What would possess him to do that? Like seriously? How is that even a good joke?

Comments

Epickitty58 29

Tuesday 24 June 2014 19:37

That's hilarious. Not the "joke": I mean what your father finds hilarious.

becca9985 34

Tuesday 2 August 2016 19:58

Given the lack of detail here, I'm confused as to whether you actually crashed into their car, or you and your dad were just trying to prank them.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 1 708

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 93

The Top

Today, after the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office and since he became buddy buddy with management, they believed him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 2 069

Today, my wife, who often complains about being walked on by everyone, let a person take items from our rummage sale without paying for them and simply walked away. When I asked her why she didn't say or do anything about it, she stated, "I just didn't want to make a big deal out of it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 118

Today, I called my mom into my room to ask her to bring me something. She referred to me as a "lazy fat slug." I'm 38 weeks pregnant and was put on emergency bedrest by my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 841

You deserved it 4 886

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 314

You deserved it 24 588

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 141

You deserved it 3 206

Today, I'm a full-time Investment Portfolio Analyst at one of the largest groups. It has been my dream job and I worked my ass off. I'm one of the best analysts there and people like me. Also, I haven't slept properly for 3 months, without a single day off. I'm about to get mentally sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 482