Cars, Accident and Transportation: Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house,...

By worsethanzombies - 23/11/2009 16:40 - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 4 875

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Same thing different taste

By starfishedasshole - 30/03/2014 16:50 - United States

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 048

You deserved it 4 347

By And you think I'M crazy? - 22/04/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 066

You deserved it 6 283

By ViviMage - 11/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was nearly T-Boned at a stop sign by my ex-roommate. I moved 10 miles away to get away from her after her midlife crisis, and her losing the house, and now avoid her end of town. She now works outside my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 751

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 31/12/2015 18:15 - United States - Hyde Park

Today, I woke up to the sound of my psycho ex trying to break down my apartment door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 730

You deserved it 1 653

What the F, lady?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 00:49 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 185

You deserved it 2 499

Call the cops

By sammatthews2007 - 25/02/2009 03:21 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 478

You deserved it 7 496

Spare

By Milo - 02/06/2015 16:50 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 343

You deserved it 3 320

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 358

You deserved it 10 374

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 144

By MyLife - 03/03/2019 12:00

Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 606

You deserved it 183

sweetjeebus 0

Monday 23 November 2009 20:12

I'd rather stay in the car...

perdix 29

Monday 23 November 2009 20:30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I crashed my car intentionally outside your house because I still really love you but I don't have the courage to admit it to myself and definitely not to you. Thank heaven for "free" verse.

Comments

Person1233 12

Monday 23 November 2009 22:12

Did she have a gun with 2 bullets, one for you, and one for her?

Ferretknows 0

Monday 23 November 2009 22:00

Slightly modified version of the Stephen King story "Misery"

Person1233 12

Monday 23 November 2009 22:27

Exactly what I thought.

jmeg_fml 0

Monday 23 November 2009 22:44

it's called walking (unless you were really hurt, in which case, i'm sorry; that sucks.) in any case, your car didn't crash. you crashed it.

jmeg_fml 0

Monday 23 November 2009 22:46

huh, tried to edit my comment, no luck. read the one about this one being changed from "broke down" to crashed. so, dude, i'm sorry about your car, but it still may have been worth it to walk a little farther.

letitbe56 0

Monday 23 November 2009 23:13

What is with all the poorly written FML's? Do better, FML staff. This is better, but the phrasing of the second half is still ridiculous: "Today, my car crashed. The only refuge was at a nearby house, the inhabitant of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML"

lostfaithinpppl 19

Monday 23 November 2009 23:26

This fml makes no sense.

Lollercoasterz 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 0:06

...Grammar fail, OP?

sadistmonkey 19

Tuesday 24 November 2009 0:28

People who actually don't understand this FML can't claim to be speakers of English.

sadistmonkey 19

Tuesday 24 November 2009 0:24

Those who actually don't understand this FML are either poorly educated or non-native speakers of English. Or dumbasses.

rebash09 0

Tuesday 24 November 2009 1:51

Are you serious? This comment is about a comment which was posted in reply to a comment that disappeared. Anyways, I agree with the OP, his life is f****d. I wonder how his poem went....?