Today, my car broke down. I had a two mile, up-hill walk ahead of me. About half way up the hill, a car beeped. Thinking they were poking fun at my misfortune, I began to curse and use obscene gestures, only to find out that it was my neighbor asking if I needed a ride. She drove off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, I missed my bus. I had to ride my bike 2 miles. Once I left, some jerk nearly hit me. I flipped him off and shouted obsceneties. It was my dad, offering me a ride. He left. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Today, my car broke down. I pulled to the side of the road to call a tow truck. After waiting what seemed like hours, the tow truck showed up, and then ran into the back of my car. FML
Today, my car broke down on the highway, and I had to call for a tow truck. It finally showed up, only to break down too less than a mile later. Cue nearly freezing to death while we waited for help to arrive for the both of us. FML
Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML
Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
What a nice assumption you made there.
eggjuggler 0
Wow. Even Mr. Rogers wouldn't want you as a neighbor now.
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Comments (69)
njgurl121 0
next time u might wanna look at who is beeping before u start cursing lol
AtOmiK_R3ApEr 0
OHHHH NO TWO WHOLE MILES OMG THATS LIKE ILLEGAL stop whining
irelandbuddy 0
Seriously like...typical american.....being stupid!!!!!!!!!!! Cop on to yourself....you actually expect sympathy for that???
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I know I'm a little late but "typical American"? Way to be judgmental, asshole.
dirtyrussian97 0
stupid
TommySixx81 0
Pft. I walk 3 miles every day, up hill going to and from work. Keeps you fit lazy beeyotch!
fml22221 0
I wouldve done the same thing if I were ur neighbor
fml22221 0
I'd do the same.
hateevryone 15
sweetie, look next time before you automatically assume that you're being made fun of
Snorlax_Snarf 10
Two miles isn't that much anyways. That's about a 45 minute walk. You're kind of a dick..
201chasew 22
I would drive off as well, you dick.