Miscellaneous: Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair,...

By boundandgagged - 13/01/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 471

You deserved it 4 983

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 27/02/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 683

You deserved it 5 120

By kingwalrus - 12/06/2010 18:55 - United Kingdom

Today, my siblings overpowered me and duct taped me to a chair. Helpless, I had to wait until my dad got home so he could help me. Instead, the first thing he did was reach for his camera to take a picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 054

You deserved it 8 041

Private freakout

By emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 159

Affectionate, huh?

By littlemiss - 10/02/2013 16:17 - Canada - Whitby

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 653

You deserved it 3 048

By tortured - 27/11/2013 03:11 - United States

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 248

You deserved it 4 580

By NaomiMadison - 30/07/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 101

You deserved it 3 138

Patsy

By Anonymous - 28/04/2022 12:00

Today, my brother ran in, handed me a spatula, and told me to stand still. Barely a second later, our sister came tearing in the house with a fresh, raised welt on her ass cheek in the shape of said spatula, saw me holding said spatula, and kicked my ass up and down the house until I escaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 151

By tsakashvili - 26/05/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 852

You deserved it 18 905

Solid case for the defense

By DT_tasha - 11/09/2022 15:00

Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 121

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 18:00

Today, my brother threw a mug at my head and threatened to stab anybody who came at him because I woke him up for school. I called the police after threats were thrown at my mom, who then lied to them and said I overreacted. I'm currently getting the silent treatment from my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 294

You deserved it 428

littlelemur 2

Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:21

YDI for getting ambushed. you should NEVER let your guard down! constant vigilance! lol

WOW_idc123 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 23:18

haha cool mom

Comments

NotEven 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:10

Bahahaha! I want to be friends with your mom. You... not so much. :)

allen20 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:13

awesome mom!

cerebellum_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:19

Well it is a good lesson to learn how to get out of those situations. Plus couldn't you have just spit out the sock?

Cruth 2

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:36

awesome mom that is all.

TheCoolGuy3434 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:42

I feel bad for u, no not really

silvertongue 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:44

Nobody does that for no reason! Whatever. It thought they would torture you or something.

PurpleKuSh_fml 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:45

haha DAMN! dats pretty tight

usmc3004 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:51

that's the funniest shit Eva!!!!! ur mom must think ur annoying

Tikwichka 5

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:54

YDI for being a moaning bitch

immastarr 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 0:55

tell me why you didnt spit it out

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The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 907

Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML

I agree, your life sucks 500

You deserved it 92

The Top

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 712

You deserved it 9 926

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 286

You deserved it 4 791

Today, I woke up, and I could see perfectly. Somehow, during the night, my eyes magically became 20/20. I was overjoyed, until I realized I'd fallen asleep with my glasses on. My eyes are still trash, and I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 584

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 106

You deserved it 2 579

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 672

You deserved it 19 637

Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 540

You deserved it 2 838