Weird, Laundry, Awkward and Cops: Private freakout

Private freakout

By emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

agreeclassic 879

vote type 1 199

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By erianne - 07/05/2018 15:00

Today, the neighbors heard a blood curdling scream and called the cops, thinking I was being murdered. Nope. I just stubbed my toe. FML

agreeclassic 2 892

vote type 1 616

Yikes

By AAAAAAAAAAAAA - 11/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML

agreeclassic 761

vote type 1 151

By boundandgagged - 13/01/2010 19:36 - United States

Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML

agreeclassic 41 511

vote type 1 5 000

By CAchickadee - 29/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

agreeclassic 40 333

vote type 1 6 244

By leastitwasntsurpriseanal - 22/08/2014 20:26 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the living room. I jumped up and went running, only to find out it was my mother, who'd screamed at some dramatic plot twist in a Sex and the City episode. FML

agreeclassic 40 399

vote type 1 3 506

By johnboy - 09/11/2010 17:08 - United States

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

agreeclassic 10 835

vote type 1 37 169

Jumpy

By Chelsea - 21/04/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

agreeclassic 15 704

vote type 1 71 119

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML

agreeclassic 29 302

vote type 1 2 870

Wailing

By katchoo - 03/11/2013 07:34 - Denmark

Today, I had a panic attack when a huge spider ran over my hand. I screamed, wailed, and killed it with a shoe while shouting. Ten minutes later, police slammed on my door. My neighbor called them, saying it sounded like someone was being murdered. FML

agreeclassic 47 612

vote type 1 8 502

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

agreeclassic 25 415

vote type 1 2 554

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 June 2022 0:11

What did you do to that poor sock?

mccuish 25

Friday 3 June 2022 9:08

Must’ve been that special 🧦

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 3 June 2022 0:11

What did you do to that poor sock?

mccuish 25

Friday 3 June 2022 9:08

Must’ve been that special 🧦

phile 15

Friday 3 June 2022 23:54

Oh goodness gracias, OP please tell me nothing was in that sock

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

agreeclassic 30 248

vote type 1 3 945

Today, my English teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet, I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

agreeclassic 9 761

vote type 1 73 477

Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML

agreeclassic 15 913

vote type 1 23 012

Today, I learned that my boss is a pedophile. He knows that I know. This is because he saw me looking at him… on the sex offender registry. FML

agreeclassic 1 392

vote type 1 167

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

agreeclassic 6 473

vote type 1 309

Today, I found one of those online color blindness tests where you have to distinguish a colored number from the pattern. Not being able to, I spent hundreds of dollars on medical tests to discover that the pattern online was a joke. FML

agreeclassic 14 459

vote type 1 71 374