Love: Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively...

By Foam - 26/12/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 619

You deserved it 2 989

Love

Not a fan

Thanks UPSDHLFML

CIA-level batshittery

By neverdatingagain - 27/11/2016 22:07 - United States - Lake Oswego

Today, after three years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed. To my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 746

By This girl - 19/12/2011 18:01 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 261

You deserved it 3 378

By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 20:42 - Australia - Blacktown

Today, I won a game of Monopoly against my girlfriend. She reacted by sweeping the board off the table, storming out the front door, and mowing down my mailbox driving away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 743

You deserved it 4 317

By Potforapeso - 01/10/2014 02:30 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 422

You deserved it 5 284

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 14:00 - Guam

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, a month after I'd proposed and she'd said yes. When asked why all of the sudden, she said her family disapproved of me, and I wasn't worth fighting for and potentially losing her father's love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 111

By Lo_Bolian - 25/04/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I was taking the bus home. A dirty homeless man boarded the bus, put his bag on the overhead rack, and sat down. His bag was leaking and dripped onto my shoulder. I asked the man what it was. He said, "Roadkill." I now have dead animal blood on my best business suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 591

You deserved it 3 398

By Anonymous - 31/10/2014 10:46 - Australia

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 846

You deserved it 4 453

By anabolic - 27/02/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 614

You deserved it 2 727

By anonymous - 13/01/2012 05:05 - Canada

Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 276

You deserved it 52 105

By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 02:16 - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 907

You deserved it 7 224

By KobraKommander - 17/03/2010 11:51 - France

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 496

You deserved it 92 450

By gimmeabreak0_o - 18/06/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 239

You deserved it 38 650

By Anonymous - 06/06/2015 04:20 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I have food poisoning. My boss told me that if I didn't come into work, I'd be fired. Not 30 minutes after sitting down, I sneezed and shat my pants. My boss still won't let me leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 839

You deserved it 2 174

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 13:06 - United States - Tampa

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 175

You deserved it 4 053

By Sammmmi - 22/06/2016 18:35 - United Kingdom - Paisley

Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 629

You deserved it 1 858

Dick appointment

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 21:01 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I walked out halfway through a much anticipated dick appointment because it became apparent that he thought my clit was located somewhere on my upper thigh. He kept rubbing it and moaning, "Oooooh, I bet you like that, baby." No, sir, I certainly did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 246

By Anon - 06/06/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was driving behind a UPS truck. All of a sudden his back door opens up exposing some boxes ready to fall out. Like a good driver I speed up to drive beside him to tell him. He thought I was trying to cut him off so he accelerated. A box flies out and dents my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 879

You deserved it 5 582

By Anonymous - 26/08/2019 00:01 - United States - New York

Today, I caught my half-sister stealing money from her mother's purse. Rather than risk getting in trouble, she told her uber-conservative mother that I've been seeing a girl. So now, I'm grounded for being gay, and she gets off the hook for stealing because she outed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 079

You deserved it 191

By Animeislyfe - 25/08/2015 02:56 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 118

You deserved it 7 580

By bestgirlfriend - 03/09/2015 23:31 - United Kingdom - Stockton-on-tees

Today, my dad made me and my boyfriend break up. Not because he was a bad influence, but because I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 076

You deserved it 7 334

By Anonymous - 18/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, a hobo threw up on my car while at a red light. He then asked me for money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 990

You deserved it 2 445

Hello? Hello?

By Anonymous - 12/10/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, I learned that my boyfriend has narcolepsy when we were having sex and he passed out on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 456

You deserved it 4 071

Scarcity

By Niniva - 01/03/2021 08:01 - United States - Dahlonega

Today, after several hours, two pharmacies, several bus rides, $20, and many phone calls, I returned home. Guess who still doesn't have a glucose monitor? Yup, I have to go do this all again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 76

Toxic community

By Anonymous - 07/06/2021 07:59 - United States - Rochester

Today, I donated money to a gaming streamer I like(d) who's been struggling. He later yelled at me and timed me out for "derailing the stream" with "dumb" questions. Then I found out a troll community that follows him doxxed me, and people are dunking on me and calling me "retarded" on social media for donating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 351

Real friends

By MartinGitGud - 13/03/2021 08:01

Today, I was saying goodbye to all my close friends before I move out of state. I'd made plans with one friend in particular to meet up before I move away; he didn't bother to respond to my message or calls. Guess I confused a coworker for a friend, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 127

By Noname - 24/02/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ends the conversation with "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "Thats great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 609

You deserved it 57 387

By Ellen - 26/02/2010 19:58 - Norway

Today, I was browsing a website where you can talk to strangers anonymously, when I met a guy I really hit it off with. After talking for two hours, we decided to keep in touch, just in time for me to hit the "Next Person" button by mistake. There's no way to undo it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 425

You deserved it 30 179

By Rimmy Jobs - 21/08/2012 16:39 - United States

Today, after volleyball practice, I noticed my pants were missing. Now I have to go to work wearing spandex bottoms, all because one of my teammates is a thieving douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 330

You deserved it 2 186

By Anonymous - 05/12/2011 00:40 - United States

Today, I cleaned my toilet. I had forgotten it was white. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 218

You deserved it 49 042

By jeph23 - 11/09/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 232

You deserved it 19 126

By Anonymous - 17/08/2018 14:30

Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 449

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 00:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 935

You deserved it 5 543

Family values

By family sucks! - 06/10/2021 23:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I ran into my aunt I hadn’t seen since I was a child. My mom told me she took off and stopped speaking to everyone. After lunch, I asked her why she left. She said our whole family ostracized her for aborting her abusive husband’s baby and divorcing him instead of "making it work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 73

By disturbed2103 - 09/07/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 683

You deserved it 9 037

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 21:51 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 776

You deserved it 3 725

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 405

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 148

You deserved it 7 621

By asthmatic - 18/06/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 198

You deserved it 8 744

By oops - 31/03/2015 01:52 - Australia - Newtown

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 2 772

By Anonymous - 01/04/2012 13:53 - Australia - Perth

Today, I offered an elderly man my seat on the train. He thanked me by winking and offering me a seat on his lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 511

You deserved it 3 349

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Failsinking 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:03

Sounds like you have very weak teeth to me, but I guess it depends how hard he hit you.

johan1162 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:12

My sister had exactly the same problem a few months ago. How could it possibly cost 900? My sister had to pay 50 and her tooth looks better than ever.

Failsinking 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:03

Sounds like you have very weak teeth to me, but I guess it depends how hard he hit you.

MagneticGuitar 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:10

Thats what she said.

NonExistentCok 0

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Tuesday 17 August 2010 20:22

Dats not rlly dat much money... I spend atleast £2000 each day -.-

ArentICute 0

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Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:43

900$ per kiss, lady.

orange9494 0

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Saturday 26 May 2012 2:12

Price of a funny fml? Priceless.

Narelon 12

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Friday 24 May 2013 19:54

If you spend 2 grand a day, you should be off giving that money to people who deserve it instead of doing whatever the fuck you do with it.

johan1162 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:12

My sister had exactly the same problem a few months ago. How could it possibly cost 900? My sister had to pay 50 and her tooth looks better than ever.

luckyducky123 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 19:07

She might not have dental coverage or if she does, it doesn't cover the cost of crowns.

fossum 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 1:49

she lives in canada, what do you expect...

FreakenJewtastic 0

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Thursday 9 June 2011 19:11

Fossum you ignorant american! Keeping in mind we can break a leg and NOT pay 1500 dollars in hospital fees, "eh"? So hows about you find a nice bridge to jump off of into oncomming traffic, then tell us Canada sucks. It's not that she cannot get proper coverage, but will not try to do so... whereas in USA 70% of claims are denied.

rolaimss 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:15

lmao, that happened to my bffs girlfriend

v1kt4r 13

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:29

I really hope you're a gal, and your BFF is a lesbian

dnlphm94 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 20:56

Who said guys and girls can't be lifelong friends?

v1kt4r 13

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:29

They can, am a guy and i do have a few really good female friends, i jus think a guy referring to anyone as a BFF is gay

femmeixifatality 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 20:46

Homosexual: (n) A male who refers to his best friend as "Bff", regardless of sexual preference. Seriously? When did being gay become redefined?

dnlphm94 0

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Monday 28 December 2009 4:50

^ wtf?

johan1162 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:17

Agreed, but, 900 for a 10 minute job? xD

Back_In_Action 18

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:32

I'm sorry to have to do this, but...that's what she said. EDIT: In reply to number six. >< STOP RUINING MY IMMATURITY, FML. XD

niadanac1 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 13:17

Wow that just made my cringe at the thought of it happening to my tooth.

Pankreas 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 13:44

Making a dental crown isn't done in ten minutes... You have to drill down the whole tooth, take an impression of it, wait for the dental technician to make the crown, and then try to fit it on the patient's tooth. Requires at leat to visits to the dentist.