Love: Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively...

By Foam - 26/12/2009 06:10 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend went in to kiss me. He came in too aggressively and passionately and his front tooth knocked against mine. I am now missing a third of my right front tooth. Average cost for a dental crown? $900. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 619

You deserved it 2 989

Love

Broken heart

Little shit

Tradwife expectations

By plasticfantastic - 25/04/2009 12:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 646

You deserved it 9 601

By anoynomous - 02/02/2010 05:47 - France

Today, I got a ticket. The officer's daughter is my ex. He gave me a ticket for 31 in a 30 mph zone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 639

You deserved it 5 777

By Mike - 01/03/2009 02:42 - United States

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 640

You deserved it 133 770

By poopiter - 27/07/2013 18:31 - United States - Grand Junction

Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 885

You deserved it 4 745

Just a prank, bruh!

By VoodooPriestess - 03/06/2020 23:00

Today, while looking at engagement rings online, I started crying. Not because I'm getting married, but because the only proposal scenario my mind could concoct always ended with my boyfriend saying, "SIKE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 421

By cantstoplaughing - 06/10/2010 04:32 - United States

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 661

You deserved it 3 973

Gamers rise up

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 06:01 - Brazil - Joinville

Today, I went over to a guy's house. He had almost no furniture and slept on a mattress on the floor; however, he had the most impressive gaming computer I've ever seen. He's 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 183

By Snurkles McGee - 22/05/2013 21:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 439

You deserved it 3 654

Catfished

By phonesage - 13/12/2010 20:29 - United States

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 584

You deserved it 10 428

By Anonymous - 30/01/2016 06:47 - United States - Upper Marlboro

Today, while crying at my grandma's funeral I was told to man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 751

You deserved it 1 800

By Frenchgirl - 16/09/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, it was my first day at school in the United States. Being from France, my French accent is really strong. After being made fun of all day, I met someone from Montreal. I was so excited and said, "Parlez-vous Français?" And his response? "HUH?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 179

You deserved it 6 193

By apple - 16/07/2010 19:38 - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 578

You deserved it 6 246

By furryfriend - 16/09/2014 18:46 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 028

You deserved it 3 946

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 03:34 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 953

You deserved it 3 010

By Anonymous - 25/12/2010 07:11 - United States

Today, I was taking a leak in the mall bathroom. A kid no older than thirteen strolled in and paused next to me at the urinals. He took one look and laughed, "I feel sorry for your wife, man." All I could do was stand there as he casually disappeared into one of the stalls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 602

You deserved it 4 453

By OverIt - 25/02/2014 22:24 - United States - Winchester

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 587

You deserved it 11 130

By Canonlizardjet - 13/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Ormond Beach

Today, I had a near-death experience. Went to print a document and a lizard shot out of the printer right out at me. Gives a whole new meaning to a Canon printer, a fricking lizard Canon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 515

You deserved it 563

TMI FML

By Addison - 25/06/2012 00:28 - Canada - Kingston

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 831

You deserved it 3 615

You wanker!

By Anonymous - 06/10/2019 22:00

Today, my brother arrived at the cabin we’re staying at on a trip. He insisted he got the bed I chose. My father responded, "You wouldn’t want the bed if you knew what he did in it last night." I laughed until I realized there's a mirror where he could've easily seen "what I did last night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 1 797

By RandomMe - 26/02/2016 08:00 - Cambodia - Sihanouk

Today, I was craving some popcorn, so I went to the supermarket and bought the microwaveable type. When I got home, I remembered I didn't have a microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 640

You deserved it 11 876

By fuckmyparents - 25/01/2019 00:00

Today, the school I applied to work for told me they were not going to schedule an interview. Why? Because they think my papers and name are fake. My name is Seymour Skinner. I’m not joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 714

You deserved it 149

By scaredshitless - 03/03/2012 13:55 - Finland

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 10 696

By dumbfounded - 08/05/2016 12:14 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to calm down an angry customer who claimed one of my employees had "traumatized" her dog. Apparently her dog is really OCD and my employee didn't line up the dog bed at the right angle. She threatened to report us to the BBB. How do these morons even exist? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 146

You deserved it 1 344

By scratchy - 08/12/2010 14:56 - Israel

Today, my boyfriend refused to have his hair treated against lice, because "men don't have lice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 210

You deserved it 3 834

By Anonymous - 08/08/2014 21:05 - Israel

Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 732

You deserved it 8 623

By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 17:26 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 959

You deserved it 24 557

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 11:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 776

You deserved it 8 187

By Anonymous - 30/06/2016 14:14 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I am one year away from getting a university degree. Unfortunately, my parents just kicked me out because I wouldn't drop out and work for free at our family's gas station. I'm now broke, homeless and have no way to pay for school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 215

You deserved it 1 364

By MyMomIsInsane - 10/03/2015 00:28 - United States - Uniontown

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 689

You deserved it 3 212

Don't leave my baby boy

By Julia - 17/03/2021 02:01

Today, after a year of unemployment due to my industry shutdown, I finally got a job offer. It involves overseas travel. After being cooped up a year, I'm thrilled! My boyfriend's mother is willing to pay my rent and bills for me to stay home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 126

By Tanner - 16/07/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 359

You deserved it 3 670

Hormonal hell

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 23:02

Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 410

You deserved it 221

By owmyhead - 21/08/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 068

You deserved it 49 445

By Julie is in pain - 06/07/2012 17:11 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 109

You deserved it 2 450

Triage

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 05:02 - Germany - Emden

Today, I realised that Gmail has been sending lots of important messages directly into the spam folder, where I never saw them. All were from people who I had either contacted myself, or had regular contact with in the past. One address even had a filter on it, specifying, "Never send it to spam." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 801

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 21/01/2016 13:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 206

You deserved it 5 180

Hey, it's you!

By SlothyMolly - 06/03/2013 17:19 - United States

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 777

You deserved it 4 168

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 953

You deserved it 4 820

Get it out!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 09:01 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I paid movers $125 to move a couch into my house that's much too large for the space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 954

By belladonna - 26/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 193

You deserved it 79 143

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Failsinking 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:03

Sounds like you have very weak teeth to me, but I guess it depends how hard he hit you.

johan1162 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:12

My sister had exactly the same problem a few months ago. How could it possibly cost 900? My sister had to pay 50 and her tooth looks better than ever.

Failsinking 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:03

Sounds like you have very weak teeth to me, but I guess it depends how hard he hit you.

MagneticGuitar 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:10

Thats what she said.

NonExistentCok 0

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Tuesday 17 August 2010 20:22

Dats not rlly dat much money... I spend atleast £2000 each day -.-

ArentICute 0

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Wednesday 20 July 2011 3:43

900$ per kiss, lady.

orange9494 0

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Saturday 26 May 2012 2:12

Price of a funny fml? Priceless.

Narelon 12

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Friday 24 May 2013 19:54

If you spend 2 grand a day, you should be off giving that money to people who deserve it instead of doing whatever the fuck you do with it.

johan1162 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:12

My sister had exactly the same problem a few months ago. How could it possibly cost 900? My sister had to pay 50 and her tooth looks better than ever.

luckyducky123 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 19:07

She might not have dental coverage or if she does, it doesn't cover the cost of crowns.

fossum 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 1:49

she lives in canada, what do you expect...

FreakenJewtastic 0

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Thursday 9 June 2011 19:11

Fossum you ignorant american! Keeping in mind we can break a leg and NOT pay 1500 dollars in hospital fees, "eh"? So hows about you find a nice bridge to jump off of into oncomming traffic, then tell us Canada sucks. It's not that she cannot get proper coverage, but will not try to do so... whereas in USA 70% of claims are denied.

rolaimss 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:15

lmao, that happened to my bffs girlfriend

v1kt4r 13

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:29

I really hope you're a gal, and your BFF is a lesbian

dnlphm94 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 20:56

Who said guys and girls can't be lifelong friends?

v1kt4r 13

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Sunday 27 December 2009 9:29

They can, am a guy and i do have a few really good female friends, i jus think a guy referring to anyone as a BFF is gay

femmeixifatality 0

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Sunday 27 December 2009 20:46

Homosexual: (n) A male who refers to his best friend as "Bff", regardless of sexual preference. Seriously? When did being gay become redefined?

dnlphm94 0

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Monday 28 December 2009 4:50

^ wtf?

johan1162 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:17

Agreed, but, 900 for a 10 minute job? xD

Back_In_Action 18

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Saturday 26 December 2009 12:32

I'm sorry to have to do this, but...that's what she said. EDIT: In reply to number six. >< STOP RUINING MY IMMATURITY, FML. XD

niadanac1 3

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Saturday 26 December 2009 13:17

Wow that just made my cringe at the thought of it happening to my tooth.

Pankreas 0

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Saturday 26 December 2009 13:44

Making a dental crown isn't done in ten minutes... You have to drill down the whole tooth, take an impression of it, wait for the dental technician to make the crown, and then try to fit it on the patient's tooth. Requires at leat to visits to the dentist.