Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML
Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML
Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML
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Top comments
B0NER 2
Must have good boobies
rayrayray23 1
Best solution: Go to Narnia.
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Comments (291)
hurrican_fml 0
Are you dating Adam sanler?
husky22 0
dont ever cheat on him
CSTDude77 7
Lol so don't be a wh*** and cheat on him
tfb4u 8
Creepy
yuyqe 4
He must be into Guro...
katiedoll6 7
142 shut up no one gives a shit
peanutfoo 19
At least he likes your boobies!!
doglover100 29
Creep.
hsRoseTyler5 14
At least he'd keep part of you... My boyfriend said if I ever cheated on him he'd tie up me, the guy I cheated on him with, my dog and our two kids up and toss a pipe bomb at us.. Needless to say I won't cheat on him. Only partially out of fear, but mostly I'm just faithful.
ileenefudge 29
That's not cool. Why would you stay with someone who says things like that to you?
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
Maybe you should get away, like now!