Intimacy: Today, the first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door...

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 12:00

Today, the first thing my fiancé did when he walked in the door was to loudly announce all the hot kinky stuff he was about to do to me on the kitchen table. Unfortunately for him my dad, mother and both my brothers had just dropped in for a visit and heard every word he said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 979

You deserved it 816

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nudesurprise - 16/04/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 930

You deserved it 35 109

Nope out of there

By twintowers - 04/07/2009 20:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 417

You deserved it 23 273

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 635

You deserved it 4 984

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 887

You deserved it 4 880

By Oh God - 24/05/2018 06:00

Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 134

You deserved it 1 458

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 054

You deserved it 5 469

TMI

By crazyman. - 12/05/2012 05:27 - United States - Keller

Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 733

You deserved it 4 139

By Scarlett - 26/04/2011 17:28 - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 651

You deserved it 6 156

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 08:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 628

You deserved it 3 846

By uhoh - 16/02/2013 05:27 - Canada - Sechelt

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 59 975

Starzak 18

Sunday 28 May 2017 14:43

While I can totally understand why this is an FML to the OP, I personally don't really see an issue here. A man walks in, and announces at the top of his lungs the freaky shit he wasn't to do to his fiancée in their OWN HOME. That's the last place he'd expect to have to tiptoe around or have to walk on eggshells.

seasonedtoast 19

Sunday 28 May 2017 13:03

Turn it into a game of never have I ever.

Comments

seasonedtoast 19

Sunday 28 May 2017 13:03

Turn it into a game of never have I ever.

Starzak 18

Sunday 28 May 2017 14:43

Starzak 18

Sunday 28 May 2017 14:48

Whoops! Wants, not wasn't.

ImminentDisaster 12

Sunday 28 May 2017 19:17

The FML is the issue. No one said he shouldn't do it - it's just an awkward situation.

dopple85 6

Sunday 28 May 2017 16:15

Smooth!

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 28 May 2017 16:21

"I guess we're eating out tonight."

Ruminativ3 0

Sunday 28 May 2017 21:24

And all this could have been avoided by a simple text.

CantTouchThat 29

Tuesday 30 May 2017 15:32

"Honey, my family dropped by and wants to say hi to you when you get home. Can't wait to see you after work. Love you! Also, don't go on your kinky rants again. We've gotten complaints."