Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
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Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
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Top comments
vntqmm 8
Well, at least he kept his promise...
Redoxx_fml 22
I guess you wanted sausage
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Comments (154)
lacrossebrah13 8
Healthier than greasy bacon!
japtch 15
But not half as delicious.
peachesncreem 21
How dare you! Never speak of bacon like that!
wildlife917 6
Bacon is so nasty!
Skittles_Rawr 8
Bacon Is ******* delicious.
wildlife917 6
Bacon is the reason that everyone is so fat
False_Stupidity 42
If that is true 151, then it would be because bacon tastes awesome, therefore not nasty at all, thus nullifying your previous comment.
whoaaahorsie 7
how romantic! :')
HolyPotato 9
You need your protein!
Doxy 22
And they say romance is dead.
Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH 7
Ungrateful! You think too hard on what breakfast in bed is. He could have let you get up and get them yourself.
Birdie_Sage 0
What'd ya want sweetie? Homemade bacon with eggs? Nah, what'd ya take me for? A chef?
BubbleGrunge 18
What is it with everyone saying "dump him"? Ladies, just because we have a small little argument with our boyfriends, they don't complement you the way you like or their sense of humor is a little less than your liking, doesn't automatically mean dump him. No wonder relationships don't last anymore.If something is broke, fix it!
mk58 31
SQUIRREL? Where?!
ClosetTroll 10
Hey, you did get breakfast now, didn't you? Now, that you have had something to eat, get yourself out of bed and go prepare something. Simple.
emeraldisle 30
Your definition of breakfast in bed seems to be different from his.
Birdie_Sage 0
Yes it is... Know why? He THREW the bars at her.