Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
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Top comments
vntqmm 8
Well, at least he kept his promise...
Redoxx_fml 22
I guess you wanted sausage
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Comments (154)
nadnerbz 6
Technically he said give, not make. He kept his promise
fuckmebutdontfml 16
that can be breakfast, he never said he was cooking you breakfast
Talkryz 7
What a dick...
KiddNYC1O 22
Maybe he was running late?
LovexInfinity 5
Hey, at least you got your breakfast in bed, OP ;)
Rachiebabyx 1
Atleast it's good for youu !
xstream 5
like a BOSS
mcerin 10
Anyone else thinking about the fact that he put the granola bar on the bed next to her? Do they not sleep in the same bed...
Rachiebabyx 1
No she meant he threw it on the bed and the bars ended up being beside her
perdix 31
Were you expecting him to scramble your eggs?
loufol22 5
You want to write for the daily show. Good luck!( not being sarcastic )
loufol22 5
I'm saying good luck not hey perdix you have the daily show on your profile
wildlife917 6
Well he didn't exactly lie...
rawrrmonster78 0
Quit your bitching and eat what he gave you.