Is it so bad to have a baby with your partner of 4yrs? Why is she the dumb bitch? He's the dumb one!

Because, even after four years of dating, he can just walk away like he has done. He doesn't even have to pay child support unless she is willing to take him to court for it.

What if neither of you wants to get married? As far as I'm concerned marriage is a religious thing (whatever your religion is it's still a commitment in the eyes of your God) My partner is not religious and I am of a 'non-mainstream' faith so I would never get married in a religious building (as we don't have them) nor would I marry in a registry office (or whatever the american equivalent is, court house?) I might have a handfasting but that is in no way legally binding. It's an issue of trust, I trust that my partner loves me and wants to be with me and he trusts that I love him. We will never marry, we may still have children though. We will only have children when we are sure we are stable financially and emotionally. He could still walk out on me though.

@107 I completely agree with you. Its all about the trust in a relationship and the respect. My partner and I have a child and we have no plans to get married. As for the last bit of your statement someone can walk out on you at any point married or not. Its just how life goes. We cannot see the future you can be married for 40 years and then you decided it doesn't work or you can be married for a day and see no future, same goes with dating. I understand that marriage is an important factor in a relationship for many people but it is not the only hallmark of a commited relationship.

My parents were married for 20 years and my dad walked out on my mum. I was 15 when he left BUT he was man enough to try and be a dad, even when I ignored him for over a year. My dad loves me regardless of what I do. I know he is proud of what I have done with my life and my step-mum supports me with anything I need. Just because my parents are divorced and don't speak to each other it doesn't mean they don't still love me and look after me. Marriage means NOTHING, unconditional love means EVERYTHING.

#122, yeah, marriage means nothing until your partner dies without a will and you are entitled to nothing, or your partner is in a vegetative state and you have no say in what happens to him, or he is unconscious the ICU and you can't see him because you are not family, or any of the other things where marriage gives partners a privileged status. You really are an idiot.

We both have wills and living wills so thank you very much but I am not an idiot! Yes, anyone who has an estate to leave and has no will is stupid regardless of marriage (blood relatives can still contest the will regardless of a marriage dumb ass)

He's an idiot because he has a different opinion than you? Wow. Stop forcing your opinions on the rest of us, and throwing out insults when we don't agree with you. Feel free to state you opinions, just don't be an ass about it, and accept our opinions.

Maybe she chose to have a kid you dumbass

breaking up =/= ditching. who says he wont be there for the child?

No, it is not a commitment. A commitment means one just can't walk away. Even after dating for four years, one can just walk away. If you would think of having kids with a guy after dating for two years, you are an idiot.

agreed

Evildave you are the idiot, by your reasoning marriage isn't commitment either, you can just walk away from that it may be dragged through the courts but you can still walk away. There is not dating and then marriage, there is dating then a relationship that is commited and then marriage if you want it. My mother and step father have been together for 18 years and my little brother is their kid, my step dad took us on and they are in a loving relationship. My real dad and my mum were together for two years, got married and decided to have me and my real dad bailed before I was born. What relationship is more commited?

Then, I guess your mother should not have been an idiot and married your father then, right? Congratulations, you just proved my point for me. And, you step-father really shouldn't have dated, let alone married your mother because I can guarantee she never put him first in their relationship. He voluntarily accepted being treated like a second class citizen in the family, and that is just stupid. And, I am willing to bet that their "loving relationship" is not as loving as you think.

Oh for ***** sake stop being such a dick! Someone clearly hurt you in the past didn't they? Children should always come first marriage or not! Notice how NO ONE agrees with you?