Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML
Today, my boyfriend of nearly 4 years, with whom I have a baby, broke up with me. His reason? His best friend said he didn't like drinking with guys who were "tied down". FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML
Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
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Top comments
Leprecon 3
Dump him. He treats you like crap, so don't waste your time with this asshole.
beer01 0
Agreed! Dont stay around if he treats you like shit. Dump him as well, just like crap.
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Comments (140)
marierad 0
well, i would talk to him about it when hes sober, if this was complety not like him and he's never talked to you like that before then maybe it was a joke you took the wrong way or somethings wrong. but if your not suprised by this or he's been a jerk to you before then maybe hes just in general a jerk. he doesnt sound like he respects women very much from the small amount of info i got from your post...i would watch yourself. thats not the kind of man thats going to make a good mate. as for the soccer ab guy, yes those are prob his abs, yes hes prob conceded but why do you all care so much? my bf's friend is like that, hes in good shape and thinks hes the shit. its doesnt bother me but i wouldnt go out of my way to hang out with him.
hj5 0
dump his ass.
pozmc 0
he should love you the way you are, chest or no chest...... and because he said that around his friends also shows a hint that he has no concept of what should and shouldn't be kept private, drunk or not. I understand you probably love him and will probably forgive him but keep in mind there are other guys out there that will love every inch of your body the way it is, and will respect you...
missmoatwas 0
This one's not even funny! I'm sorry, that's horrible, I hope you move on and realize you deserve someone MUCH better. And being drunk is NO EXCUSE for saying something like that, just like it's not for cheating, murder, etc. so to all of you who are saying that, you're dumb as hell. Thanks and goodbye.
ohhjessicaa 0
that's butthole >.
zachjones84 0
I like chicks with small ****.
MaroonFive_fml 0
some particular FML's are stupud. Do you really think after your dog died, or your house got burned down, the first thing your gonna do is type your story up on FML? BS IF U AS ME...
MaroonFive_fml 0
some particular FML's are stupud. Do you really think after your dog died, or your house got burned down, the first thing your gonna do is type your story up on FML? BS IF U AS ME...
nessaspissed 0
wow...just wow...
awesomenessism 0
as i've posted b4 i'm all 4 flatchests