Love: Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie... - FML

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 7 811

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Same thing different taste

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 004

You deserved it 3 562

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 2 621

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 222

You deserved it 3 874

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 079

You deserved it 3 977

By Abendigo77 - 14/01/2013 04:49 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 546

You deserved it 6 840

By sabrinatarmine_ - 22/07/2013 02:35 - United States - Carmel Valley

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 613

You deserved it 4 061

By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 394

You deserved it 5 416

By purged - 08/06/2013 23:43 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 058

You deserved it 8 644

By drake86 - 09/01/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 33 054

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 169

Next

Top comments

damienwatkins 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:06

how cute

Rota 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:07

That's love.

Comments

Sekococo 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:23

there was a FML where i wrote a story like this O.O

Infected10 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:27

How is this an FML at all? You should be so lucky. It's actually quite the romantic sentiment that. I'm confused as to how someone as obviously awesome as your boyfriend wound up with someone as obviously lame as you. :|

Kara1717 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:49

Agreed. OP is ungrateful.

jacksally88 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 19:03

Right??? Not an FML!

Starfire22 5

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:27

If zombies attacked, I would hide with you mercy! THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!! *shoots at sky*

grandma_moses 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:33

that's really sweet.

vinterhjerte 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:35

Why would you think this is "FML worthy"? Because you don't have anything else to bitch about? Well, I agree. FYL.

mandirigma01 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:36

that's love!

Jimboom 11

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:39

brraaaaaiiinnnnsssss

blinketo197 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:41

Would you rather be infected with a zombie virus??? I mean come on he is kind of doing you a favor.

roadie42 21

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:43

Well that's sweet of him, not wanting to let you suffer. Definitely a keeper.

Xrandomkrisx 7

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:47

yep yep what a true man :) protecting his woman from zombies

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The Top

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 319

Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 380

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 316

You deserved it 3 199

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 371

You deserved it 42 540

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 219

You deserved it 3 742

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 434

You deserved it 2 110

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 495

You deserved it 4 479

Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 257

You deserved it 2 877