Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my boyfriend. I walked into our bedroom to find him in dressed completely in my clothes, and in makeup. It took me a moment to realize it was him and not a female intruder. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
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Top comments
natirixoxo 0
well that's his side of the story. lol "I accidently showered with your mom"
Fortuitous 0
Sounds like a steamy situation that is about to get very sticky, very quickly.
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Comments (184)
ifailplzinsultme 0
Your mom probibly kept him in
deebo77 0
your boyfriends a freak!
pasiphae9 5
Am I the only one who is bothered by the OP leaping between past and present tense in this FML?
Fortuitous 0
Ah, I just noticed that! Grammar Nazi fail on my part. :( Anyway, it should be "got" and "heard." "Is in town for the weekend" is fine, presumably because the OP's mom is still in town.
20waffleater10 0
#46 it is kinda bothersome.
RedPillSucks 33
Easy confusion when you have to start with "Today" when talking about stuff that probably happened a while ago. (Yes, I know that things that happened today can be in the past).
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
don't forget the comma splice
duckfluff89 0
thank you 46. it drives me nuts, too.
dirtyhose 0
you deserve it for not letting him know that your mom is in town...and if you did tell him then he probably did it on purpose hahah
xX_rawr_KiTTiEXx 0
yo yo yo , your bf is a pimp yo. fo-sho.
roketkween 0
kill yourself
Selena_is_back 7
nice hair
DrAwesome 6
Hi, Dr. Nick!
amanda_cc 3
how is this your fml. shouldnt it be your boyfriends?
FYLwindowlicker 0
so who was in the shower? lol
blahblahblah1234_fml 0
Why didn't she lock the door?
Selena_is_back 7
because all this shit was planned... by the boyfriend and mother.
joa76 3
Because not all doors have locks? Because she didn't think anyone other than her daughter would be there?