Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech.... - FML

By Mia - 20/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Astoria

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 314

You deserved it 7 249

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 106

You deserved it 8 799

Pussy power

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head on the living room couch. Apparently his two cats didn't approve, and they started attacking my face. Luckily for him, since my boyfriend was holding my head down, his privates didn't get a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 758

You deserved it 5 580

I did not consent to this under my roof

By CatBlock - 31/01/2014 06:16 - United States - Decatur

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cockblocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 351

You deserved it 8 008

By Drafrica - 13/10/2014 10:20 - South Africa

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 725

You deserved it 5 795

By S12Sophia - 02/05/2012 22:06 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were making love for the first time, when out of nowhere my cat meowed from the doorway. My boyfriend sighed, pulled out, and exasperatedly called me a selfish bitch for not having put my cat outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 041

You deserved it 5 451

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 765

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 205

You deserved it 38 271

By fungettingdressed - 12/10/2010 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my fingers got stuck between the wall and headboard. Screaming, he thought I was enjoying the sex and kept going even harder. I have 3 broken fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 922

You deserved it 9 079

By anon - 03/12/2013 04:26 - United States - Elkhart

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 310

You deserved it 17 589

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 4 974

Next

Top comments

nieldan 8

Wednesday 20 August 2014 17:01

I guess there are two ******* purring

Not_Impressed13 9

Wednesday 20 August 2014 17:02

Did you stop and take notes?

Comments

nerdx 2

Monday 22 September 2014 16:03

Spay and neuter. YDI.

taintedtruffle 42

Sunday 19 October 2014 22:28

ok I read like the first 30 comments before giving up but I gotta put my 2 cents in 1) like every one else I hope your cats where fixed 2) You people do realize even if cats are fixed they still have sex right?

Spigley 5

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:29

I guess one does feel when love is in the air

Sansa_fml 38

Wednesday 3 December 2014 15:54

Well cats don't enjoy sex like people do. It's really painfull for the female so that's why.. ;)

Kielnmsoftly 26

Sunday 28 December 2014 12:03

#84 Isn't saying it's wrong to have sex for pleasure, just that the main purpose of sex has and always will be to reproduce. If it weren't, there would be a way to go in raw and not have a chance to get a girl pregnant. Obviously it doesn't happen to same sex couples but not my point here.

TheDoctorBadWolf 5

Thursday 23 July 2015 21:29

Cats have barbs on their penis. Unbeknownst to the female, of course

ThunderLightTSV 31

Wednesday 27 July 2016 3:00

Male cats have barbed genitalia. Do you really want to know what it'd feel like to have a cactus shoved up there?

JessicaRabbit324 13

Sunday 18 September 2016 3:37

Probably because male cats have barbed penises, so I wouldn't envy the cat.

Keywords

Parents Public freakouts Education Love Mother in law Miscellaneous Argument AITA Insects Fear Health Cats Skincare Jealousy Coworkers Work Gross Dogs Animals Drugs Fire Awkward Money Scams Transportation Cars Bikes Scary Neighbours Sex

The Top

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 480

You deserved it 3 043

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 048

You deserved it 39 411

The Top

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about our new year's resolutions. I started telling him that I wanted to lose some weight. He interrupted me, saying, "Yeah yeah, we all know you're fat, whatever." He then went on a 30 minute speech about how he'd really like to take more pictures of his cat in 2011. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 6 284

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 182

You deserved it 2 362

Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 67

Today, I learned the hard way that I'm allergic to a particular brand of tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 78

Today, and every day for the past 3 years, my daughter has consistently woken me up throughout the night to nurse. Bonus? She’s up by 7:00am in the morning and falls asleep around 10pm and it takes me 2 hours to fall asleep. I’m mentally and physically drained, and exhausted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 726

Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 110

You deserved it 52 446