About Keithsbooty
Well hello, and welcome! My name is Michelle and I waste a lot of time on FML. I'm Dutch. I love music; I'm a huge classic rock fan! I play a few instruments as well. I'm sorry if I'm on your profile often, but if you went on my profile I'll probably see the little circle, forget who you were, click it, remember, and leave. Oh, and thanks for the fucks given!
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Keithsbooty's FML badges
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The list of badges to find
Keithsbooty's favorite FMLs

DuckyDew tells us more.

OP here. Just a few things I'd like to clarify: 1. We both live with our parents, and we have a dog together. I had been taking care of his dog while his parents were at work, before I had to go to work myself. He told me his mom rushed out of the house that morning without letting out our dog, and asked me to get there ASAP. So, when I got there, I saw he was home a few days earlier than anticipated. Turns out it was his way of surprising me, which was super sweet. 2. We're on a level where calling each other asshole, dick, and other such things is fine — it's more of a term of endearment at this stage. 3. I'm lucky enough that, once I explained to my boss what happened, he just laughed and told me to make good choices. Thank God for understanding bosses!

wowbuddy tells us more.

Hey guys, this is OP So I'm thinking the reason that the cockroach managed to get in there in the first place is that my friends and I were all at a park with this really sketchy bathroom. Me and one of my friends had gone in there to go to the bathroom and it most likely crawled into my skirt when my skirt was around my ankles... The reason I never felt it in my skirt until a few hours later is because while it was in there, it didn't move at all until I grabbed it. Cue shaking out my shirt and screaming like a madman while fireworks are going off, I watched it fall and crawl away. As some of you said, it couldn't have been that big, that's why at first I thought it was a horned beetle, as bugs here in Arizona do actually get super big. The reason I said cockroach is one of my friends pointed out that it had nothing on it except the shell and legs, as it was dark outside. All in all, I am definitely scarred for life and refuse to leave my house ever again *sarcasm*