Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said, "You got me wet." Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said!" He replied "No, really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my boyfriend suddenly hopped in with me. We were getting a little frisky when my mom's hand unexpectedly came through the curtain, dropped a condom on the bottom of the shower, all the while saying, "Keep it safe kids!" FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
rgri 11
Try to convince him to wear a condom everytime he takes a nap, just to be safe.
ipierson 5
This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
jamalhol 5
Super sperm
Xotoolyxo 16
He should not be able to reproduce
egrudy 9
What's a wet dream? Those actually happen? Where's mine? I want one!jealous
AngelLovesDerby 10
Lmao he sounds like a keeper :/ ....
martin8337 36
You'll pin the baby on him, he'll deny it.
sydstoomuch 19
Hey.....anything's possible
uarudeassbitchyo 17
I laughed so hard I think I choked on my spit I CANT
girlymae 12
At least he was genuinely concerned, unlike a lot of guys who don't care if they get a girl knocked up.
ThatsABitch 4
Immature much? Probably too young to have sex in the first place.
sabriyyahwitter 6
This is the dumbest thing I've ever read.. If anything **** his life, he's an idiot